Decided.

I had already made up my mind. I had carefully thought out each reason why it needed to be that way. I justified that it would be best. I had every point and argument prepared down to the very syllable. I can be extremely stubborn.

From the very start of today, that whole decision was shot clean out of the water. When I woke up I picked up the Ensign, then immediately wanted to put it right back down when I read the topic of this month’s First Presidency message. I knew I was in trouble however I read it with tears falling down my cheeks.

Sitting through Relief Society was not an easy task as the sweet sister taught a lesson that was prepared especially for me. I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to have a soft heart. I didn’t want to admit that I was wrong. I didn’t want to continue to try. I just wanted to stop crying.

A lesson that I had been preparing all week to teach in Sunday School changed. The words coming out of my mouth meant something far deeper to me than anyone in the room would have ever known.

It doesn’t make it easy. Although both ways are difficult, I wanted to take the seemly easier, quicker of the paths. That isn’t the way that I must travel. Why I am not sure, but in a sense realize that peace will be found along this path.