My body is craving something and I don't know what it is.

I have been eating for the last three days without satisfaction. Any suggestions?

“People who enjoy meetings shouldn’t be in charge of anything.” –Thomas Sowell

I have been in more meetings the last two weeks than I even want to recall. I have been to three at 7:00 in the morning before work even started for the day and I have had one almost consistently every night (including tonight) until almost 9:00 in the evening. These meetings are not even my work meetings which also have been aplenty lately.

I suppose the work ones are relevant (to a point) since we have one woman on maternity leave, one woman due to go on maternity leave within the next couple of weeks and another woman that just went on a month leave to have back surgery. That leaves two of us to cover and clients to keep happy.

However my issue with meetings on the large scale is that what I know can be covered in 10-15 minutes is stretched out into a 60-90 minute meeting.

There are certain activities that should be enjoyed and stretched out to last for as long as humanly possible, to this I whole-heartedly agree. In my world, meetings are not included in that statement.

I think that I only have one meeting on Tuesday morning this coming week. Here’s to hoping that it stays that way!

In other news:

I went and purchased all new garments (ah nothing better than brand new, sparkling white underwear) yesterday. They are my Christmas present to myself. I guess that Beehive Clothing decided that all of us needed a positive affirmation in the self image department. I was shocked when they told me that I was an Extra Small A in bottoms. What? I haven’t been an extra small anything since I was at least three-years old and I am sure even that is debatable.

It worked Beehive. I walked out of the Distribution Center feeling pretty good about myself (even though I know it is just that their sizes run big).

‘Cause I might know you a little better than you think

Let it be known that I did not serve a full-time mission. I am sorry that it doesn’t seem right to those that ask. Actually now that I think about it, they never ask IF I served, they always ask WHERE I served. Maybe that is why they give me that look. Oh you know the look. It is the look that within two seconds changes from embarrassment to startled to confusion to disbelief to wondering why not (quickly calculating what sin(s) might have been committed). The word that almost always comes out of their mouth next . . . “Oh.” I have actually been accused before of lying and that I must have served. You’re right, I did, must have just slipped my mind, silly me. Nope. Why would I have any reason to lie about it? Frankly I don’t know why it is so disconcerting for others that I didn’t serve.

This is where they inevitably start making really stupid comments. I could write pages and pages of them, but I will only give you a taste of what I get to hear.

“Oh. Well I figured because you are still single . . . . ” Just because I wasn’t married doesn’t mean that it was right for me at any point between the ages of 21-now to go on a mission.

“Oh. You know so much about the gospel that I assumed . . . . ” News flash, there are other ways to learn the gospel other than going on a mission and in reality you should know the gospel BEFORE you serve a mission.

“Oh. Why not?”

“Oh. You should have.”

“Oh. But you have been through the temple.” I know. Can you believe it? They actually let me in the temple even though I wasn’t getting married and wasn’t going on a mission! Don’t tell them though because they still don’t realize their mistake and they continue to let me in.

I want to eventually serve a mission or two and I am grateful for those that have served missions, but I don’t think that just because XYZ is the case that automatically means that someone did or should serve a mission or they are going to hell or that they can’t be equally as worthy (or knowledgeable or faithful or . . . ) as the person that did serve a mission. Even those of us that didn’t serve a mission and aren’t married can be just as valuable members as those that have and are. Shocking I know.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” –The Little Prince

You may be the best friend I’ve ever had

I have been spending more and more time at work. It has picked up a bit and I am also covering for another officer who is on maternity leave. I am not complaining. It is extremely nice to actually have work to do at work. It focuses my mind. Time moves rather than just staring back at me.

Yesterday I had been working almost 12 hours putting together and doing closings when I finally sat down at my desk. There patiently waiting for me was another solid two hours worth of work. It was late and I was the only one left in the office, so I cranked my music and started to dig in. I didn’t realize that I was singing at the top of my lungs with full emotion until I realized that someone was standing in my office door. It dawned on me (as I went six shades of red) that I hadn’t locked the front door after my last closing.

I helped the client gather the information that he needed and then remembered to lock the door after he left . . . and yes, I did go right back to singing at the top of my lungs and there was maybe even some dancing that took place.

The wind moves on, unaware

I don’t like to be by myself when it is windy. It is a small idiosyncrasy that I have attempted to ignore for as long as I can remember. When it is windy, there is an eerie sensation that fills my being. Honestly I don’t think that I have ever admitted this to anyone because I find it ridiculous and more importantly, I have never been able to explain it . . . that is until it finally dawned on me last night.

I had spent the night at a friend’s house. We had played in the pool at her complex most of the morning. After shoving my pajamas into my bag and throwing it over my shoulder, I told her goodbye and left to walk the three blocks to my house. I was all of 10 or 11 years old at the time, but I had walked that street countless times. I hadn’t bothered to change out of my swimming suit since I would just get home and get in the shower, so my outfit consisted of swimming suit, towel wrapped around my waist and flip-flops on my feet.

After walking out of the complex onto the main road, I had a thought that I should go back to my friend’s house and have her mom drive me home. I hesitated for a second while I took in my surrounds and immediately talked myself out of it. I could see my house from where I was standing. It was three blocks away. It would be absurd (not to mention embarrassing which is probably the real reason I didn’t follow the prompting) to go back and make her mom drive me home. After all, logic told me that I would be home faster if I just walked. In retrospect, had I paid attention I would have been off the main street and back in the complex where I wouldn’t have been seen thus avoiding the entire situation.

With determination (because I was scared for some reason unknown to me) I proceeded home with a quick step. I took in the fact that the whole neighborhood seemed especially quiet for a Saturday afternoon. Nobody was out, there were no cars coming or going. The wind was blowing enough that I had to keep one hand on my bag and one hand on my towel to keep it from blowing away. The wind was causing weird noises in the large, empty field across the street. My whole body was alert and my eyes kept scanning my surroundings. Something just didn’t feel right.

I had walked about a block when I heard a car make the turn onto the street and head my direction. I turned to see who was coming. We lived in a small neighborhood and so most everyone was familiar to me. This was a car that I didn’t know. It was a dark blue compact car but what really caught my attention was the fact that I couldn’t see the driver because the front window was tinted so dark that I couldn’t see in.

The car slowed behind me and I quickened my step. The car followed suit. I began to run, in flip flops with full arms (I would have beat Usain Bolt in that foot race). I heard the car screech to a halt, the car door open and running steps behind me. While running I turned my head to see if the other person was close which allowed me to see the man chasing me. I ran about 100 yards, turned the corner, ran up the stairs and straight into the house of an elderly lady exactly one block from my own home (good thing she didn’t lock her door but I did almost give her a heart attack). By the time she got to the window, he was gone. She walked me the rest of the way to my house and then my dad walked her back home.

Last night I was driving home after having dinner with a friend, the wind was kicked up and mad at the world, at some point I realized that I had been talking to (or rather trying to soothe) myself into stopping and getting the mail. I come home late all the time and stop to get the mail, it isn’t a big deal. The only difference . . . the wind was blowing and I had that eerie feeling that the wind seems to bring with it. I pulled in front of the mail box and literally had to tell myself that I was being nonsensical. I hurriedly got the mail and jumped back in my car practically laughing at myself for being a dork when it finally came back to me why the wind gave me that feeling. It reminds me of that day.

“It seems to me, that if you tried hard, you would in time find it possible to become what you yourself would approve; and that from this day you began with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions, you would, in a few years, have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to which you might revert with pleasure.” –Jane Eyre

I don’t think that I spend enough time with my nieces and nephews. Saturday morning I had a surprise visit from Bridger. We spent the morning (after they finally got my attention to let me know they were there . . . I was upstairs running with my music cranked and didn’t hear the doorbell which they apparently rang 17 million times . . . my sister finally called my cell phone) making tunnels out with blankets, couches, tables and books through which we could disappear and magically reappear on the other side. Of course we also had to drive the Hot Wheels through (yes I have Hot Wheels at my house for them to play with).

He was making me laugh as he would copy things that I said and noises that I would make. Then he would pull some lines out of his own back pocket that made me laugh so hard he would repeat it 10 more times. My favorite had to be when he had the Hot Wheels truck and he decided that he needed to put another one of the smaller cars on its hitch to be dragged. He had it working for a minute and then the other car slipped off the hitch. Without a moment hesitation he said, “oh no, back it up” and proceeded to reverse the truck toward the car (he is two). He informed me that we needed to get it back on the trailer. My babies just make me happy!

Later a friend came over and we made yummy Navajo tacos and settled down to watch a movie I haven’t seen in years. Ever heard of Cloak and Dagger? Yeah it is a classic, extremely cheesy now, but one straight out of the childhood. It used to be intense when I watched it when I was younger, at least that is what I remembered. It didn’t end up being in the same category as Watcher in the Woods which still scares the pants off me . . . Nerak, Nerak! I know, I know, I am a dork. Anyway, we then settled in to watch the Utes game and eat a scone with butter, honey and powered sugar (I think that I am still full), but since it started a little later half time was all she made it to and I was left to scream at the tv and cheer by myself. They won.

I love to have a jam-packed schedule, as long as I have some down time to balance it out. My big goal right now is to somehow get exercise into my daily routine. I just got a yoga dvd. I have never done yoga before so it should be interesting. Running is great, but I think that I need something to offset it a bit. I actually got a whole bunch of exercise dvds just to mix it up a bit. If all else fails, I still have Buns of Steel on VHS . . . now that should prove to be a throw back and as cheesy as ever although I have a feeling that I would still be walking funny after attempting to complete the video. I know everyone will want to join me in doing Buns of Steel, so we’ll have to make it a party.

I miss having reading material to fill some time during my days.