Just Rannin' Around

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I had a random thought of my grandma today and it made me smile.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Wait for it, wait for it....

Friday night I was sitting at a birthday party completely enjoying the program (nothing like Mo Tab live :)) when I took notice of the couple sitting directly in front of me. They looked to be in their late 60’s or early 70’s, but couldn’t have been more in love. The gentleman tenderly held her hand during the entire program sometimes reaching his other hand over and patting the top of her hand so that her hand was enveloped in both of his. Occasionally they would just look into each others eyes and smile, I could feel the warmth exchanged between them. On the way out he gently guided her by placing his hand on the small of her back. It was a reminder to me of things as they should be, but also made my hands feel extremely empty.

Saturday my hands were filled. The tiny hand of my 2-year-old nephew on one side and my 18-month-old niece in the other as we walked around the zoo making every animal noise known to them, replenished my soul. At that moment I couldn’t have designed a happier place for me to experience such unfeigned love. Arms were raised to me when they became tired of walking. My two younger brothers and their wives just walked beside us trying to help whenever one of them would allow their mom or dad to do so. When it was time to go I received lots of little hugs and kisses including a doggy kiss (my nephew’s newest thing is to lick our cheek like the doggy does). My heart was overflowing.

In the life before this, I have been told, that I learned how to love by being at the feet of our Heavenly Father and Mother. It scares me sometimes how much I love and so I can only imagine the effects on others. Although I have learned to sprinkle it lightly in as many different places as I can find, sorry sometimes I just forget.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Ever just want to run away?

I have. I have had grand visions of one night just packing a bag and running away. I could be a bartender in one of those little huts on the beach on an exotic island. Of course they would have to be willing to hire someone who has never had a drink in her life and never will, but I am pretty convincing when it comes to employment. I have also thought about moving to Europe. That would be exciting! I would have to learn a new language, find my way around a new country and get to meet all kinds of new people.

When I was little and was upset with my mom the threat of, “fine I’m running away” would spew out of my mouth. My mom would follow that statement with, “Would you like me to help you pack? Remember you can only take what belongs to you.” She eventually had to stop using this line on me because she realized that I wasn’t scared of being away. I was too willing to make friends with perfect strangers. I wouldn’t stop at the street corner before I couldn’t see the house anymore.

As I have threatened to move far, far away as I have become older my mom’s new response is, “have you asked permission?” I know that the only thing that has stopped me from moving to some random place on this earth is that it hasn’t been right (much to the relief of my mom who doesn’t even really like me living four hours away). Don’t get me wrong, I love this great state and I adore being close to my family who I love more than anything, but it is time for something in my life to change and moving would be a fun change. I have thought about not asking, but that could turn out ugly.

So for now I will be content and wait to see what be around that corner I see coming up.

Sometimes it is about going to your favorite place to get some direction and answers, but only receiving peace and quiet assurance that all will be well.

Monday, July 18, 2005

So this one time.....

The other morning at 2:17 I was awakened by a full bladder. I was completely annoyed because I was so tired, but one must always take care of these issues. I sleep in the master bedroom, so it was a short walk to the restroom. The next thing I remember was being startled awake, mind you I was still sitting on the throne by my own head bob. I had fallen back asleep while taking care of business. I made it back into my bed at 2:38 which means that I had a nice power nap.

Happy Monday!

Friday, July 15, 2005

“Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.”
-Margaret B. Runbeck

I have put some logic behind my insanity. My concern was in reference to the recent sky diving trip that didn’t seem to thrill me. As I have tried to explain to people that I really didn’t find it all that exciting, they thought that I had to be crazy. How could anyone voluntarily step out of a plane at 11,000 feet and not conjure some type of rush? My conclusion to that question might not make any sense to anyone but me however it answers a myriad of internal quandaries.

Leaving the safety of that which was keeping me up in the air didn’t bother me. I felt comfortable that the parachute attached to the instructor, who was attached to me with 11 separate bindings, would guide me back to where I belonged in pretty much the same shape. Too trusting? I don’t think so. I was aware of the experience of the instructor and have learned from all my adventures that if one carefully follows the council of those who have authority, safety and enjoyment follow.

On further analysis, I wondered why I was so quick to determine that scuba diving was the adventure that I preferred (maybe one reason was that my face doesn’t look like something had gone terribly wrong in a recent face lift incident in pictures)!!  Sky diving lasts a total of maybe 3-5 minutes. There is no time to really enjoy passing moments. On the other hand, scuba diving allows one to be submerged for 30-45 minutes depending on depth.

Variable of time is something that cannot be traded if I really want to have an enjoyable experience. The faster it passes the less depth and detail that can be obtained. I have learned that only when one digs past the immediate is the “real” environment discovered. Creatures become comfortable enough to wonder back into production. Closeness to their lives tend to go more unnoticed. Only then is one allowed to touch and become involved without scaring them away. This doesn’t happen when the needle is buried at a screaming rate.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I love the sensation of being under water. There is a silence that speaks volumes. The feeling of weightlessness releases pressures and inhibitions. Greetings come from all types of new friends. Nothing is lost in this world. There is so much to discover, so much worth finding out, so much to love. The only way for one to uncover any of this hidden world however is to drop into the dark depth and begin the lifetime search.

Usually I would not claim that one adventure is superior to another due to the fact that there are different things learned, seen and experienced. Although as I continue to evaluate life, I know that though they are different some are just more suitable for me. I keep saying that the next adventure has a lot to live up to, but in reality, it just needs to fits.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


I choose on what to focus. I can either watch the majesty of the flower while it blooms or worry about the thorns. Although the thorns can cause pain, if I choose to focus on them I will miss the joy. I have a steady resolve. I will not concern myself with where the thorns are or what pain they manage to cause. I have too many flowers which I have the opportunity to view.

My soul fills with sunshine when my focus turns to the blossoms that are all in different phases. I love walking through the fields. My heart leaps when I find new flowers which come to share their uniqueness. It is all about the beauty. So I will continue to walk bare foot because that is who I am.

Monday, July 11, 2005


Finishing up the last few tasks, she realized that dangerously she had forgotten the most important check. Taking the broom with her just in case, she turned back around and hurried down the stairs. Sure enough, as she turned the corner she found the door ajar and a ginormous mess starting to make its way out.

Working quickly, she swept everything back in, tightly closed the door and made sure the dead bolt was secure for safety. It was too dangerous to let that extremely toxic material ooze out and ruin everything in its path. She knew that she had the only key and kept wondering how that door continued to get opened.

Frustrated with herself, she climbed to the highest point that she could knowing that nobody would find her. She slumped down in the corner and became lost. Here she was safe and comfortable. She thought of the museum under constant construction all around her. This was her favorite project. It was an overwhelming, yet amazing opportunity which was handed to her at birth.

The exhibits were numerous. Entering them it didn’t take one long to realize how long it had been since she had visited and done work in each. Some were overgrown with cobwebs and dust balls, while others were immaculate. She had exhibits featuring football (with a small corner dedicated to a few other sports), travel, public speaking, the great outdoors, professions, friends, family, art, education, reading, current events and that was just on a floor or two.

She let herself wonder down the circular stairway that was surrounded by her favorite and largest exhibit. It could be seen from every other exhibit room and directed the lay out and pieces that were shown. This had always been her favorite room to which to add new pieces. There were points when people would look in and laugh and tell her that she was ridiculous for spending so much time, effort and money to this one portion of the museum. So she would work on it quietly hoping that nobody would notice. Now she really didn’t care and some of those same people now come back and it is one of the only exhibits in which they want to spend their time.

As boring as it seemed to others, it was far from boring to her. It was her museum and she knew why she was building it. The person that had awarded her this opportunity to build her very own museum told her that one day He would come back unexpectedly to survey her work. The last thing that she wanted to do was disappoint Him. At some point she knew that was all that mattered and if people didn’t like the museum they didn’t have to stay. It was hard to watch some people leave. There are also times that the museum must stay silent for respect of the work being preformed and for time to admire the works on the walls. One should never disrupt someone else who is working on their own museum or barge in when not invited. Silence however, is something that never bothered her.

Sitting on the staircase, she realized just how much more work was still left undone. There were also exhibits that needed to be completely re-done for they were truly not her best work and there were things in there which she had done miserably incorrect. A continuing work in progress, she reminded herself and stood to turn the music down that was always to be found throughout the museum.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Laughter is the best medicine

Once upon a time in a land, well not so far, far away there lived three girls who just happened to be the best of friends. They were almost inseparable (almost because all three were also very independent and had separate friends and duties that also required their time and attention, but none minded or pouted because they knew that it was a part of adult life). They traveled to see kangaroos together. They shared their joys and sorrows with one another. They did service projects, ate lots of ice cream, stayed up way past midnight, cleaned the back porch, and laughed until they couldn’t see through their tears.

Then one day the winds blew in from California and with it left one trumpet blowing prince. Long story short, one of the girls got married. The other two knew that meant not as much time and shared adventures, but also were aware that is what was supposed to happen and were extremely happy for her. Although contact and events still occurred, it just wasn’t quite ever the same.

Those winds blew again only this time they brought in a deep voiced prince. He didn’t waste any time sweeping up one of the other girls. Prince boyfriends take up a lot of time which is exactly how it should be and so the other girl skipped off to play with other friends. They were all happy in their lives, but something was missing, their friendship.

Last night the three girls decided it was high time to spend some quality time together. They went to dinner to wait out the blistering heat. Then it was out to the Jordan Parkway for one of their favorite activities together....rollerblading. The laughter could be heard throughout the land (mostly because none of them were delicate lilies in the noise department)! They came back stinky and sweaty, but also truly happy.

Moral of the story: No matter the winds of change that blow or time spent apart, true friendships can weather it all and still come out smelling, well evidentially like b.o.! :)

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Whether it is pudding pops, jugglers or just pudding....there is just nothing like consuming one of these products on a hot summer day to make you feel like a kid again. Next thing you know out come the water balloons and never ending giggles when you drench your dad when he unexpectedly gets out of the car after work. No worries, he always ends up laughing the hardest because he pulls out the hose!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Random Surprise

I opened my mailbox last night after getting home from work and found a package hiding underneath all the junk mail. A rush of excitement ran straight through my body. I love getting mail which doesn’t contain bills or unsolicited advertisements. I have to say one of the top things that make my day full of sunshine is receiving fun things in the mailbox.

Upon further inspection I noted that my name was handwritten and I could tell that it was in my own handwriting, but from younger years. There was a date written right next to my name (February 11, 1991). I found the whole thing extremely intriguing.

I walked into my house, threw away the handful of junk mail and sat down at the kitchen table. I carefully opened the mystery package. I pulled out six letter sized pages. The first page contained a letter from my Sophomore (and Senior) year high school English teacher. She explained the rest of the contents of the package. Our Sophomore year we had just completed a study of the novel “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” in which the protagonist put together a small box of mementoes. She had assigned us to put together a similar set of keepsakes which in turn she was going to keep and mail to us in ten years (she admitted that it had been well over fourteen).

I turned to the next page to find a letter I had written to myself about some current events and goals that I had. Needless to say, life has not turned out exactly as I had planned at the tender age of fifteen. Turning through the pages I also found my favorite saying (“No matter what your past has been, you have a spotless future”), a yellow bow that stood for peace in the Middle East, my school picture that year (scary), and a lock of my hair. The last page was the poem “O Captain, My Captain” by Walt Whitman.

That was one of the best pieces of mail that I have received. It had long been forgotten. As I re-read the letter I had written myself I really contemplated the differences in where I thought my life would be and where I actually am. What a blessing to know that mind sets, attitudes about what is important, education, career, location, ect., ect., ect. all can change from what we originally plan. That, to me, is just more proof that if we follow the path that our Heavenly Father leads us down, we end up being in exactly all the right situations that make us truly happy, but usually far off the path that we had planned for ourselves in our limited capacity to see in front of us.

I hope that everyone gets random mail every once in a while to make you smile!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


I took the opportunity this extended weekend to catch up on putting about ten years worth of photos and such into albums. This is not my favorite activity, actually it is one of my least favorite, but I truly enjoy the spoils of flipping through the books whenever I so wish.

As I was organizing and sorting, memories of friends, family and good times filled my heart. One of my thoughts was the fact that sad, painful times seem to wash away, but joy never leaves us. Although I sat in my room physically by myself all day, the room was full of loved ones.

It amazes me the opportunities I have had to travel, work, play and most importantly, love. I believe that for every dark moment, there is so much light given if we will only turn our focus. Life hasn’t handed me all that I have wanted, but I have been given everything that I have needed.

Thank you to all who fill the pages of my life and allow me to love you and return that love despite my weaknesses.

This is one of my favorite reminders!

Sand & Stone

There is an old story that tells us of two friends who were walking through the desert. During their journey, exhausted and thirsty, they had an argument. One friend slapped the other in the face. The friend who was slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

The friends kept walking, now in silence, until they miraculously came upon an oasis. Weary from their journey, they decided to rest by taking a bath in the cool waters of the oasis. As they entered the pool, the friend who had been slapped became stuck in the mire. In his state of exhaustion he began to drown. Just as he felt himself being pulled under, the strong arm of his friend pulled him free. As he lay on the bank of the pool recovering, he wrote another message. This one on a nearby stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now you write on stone. Why do you do these things?” The other friend replied, “When someone we care for hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of time and forgiveness can erase it away. In turn, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”


Friday, July 01, 2005

Don’t let me....

It has taken a lot of focus and concentration to not let myself. Every time I catch myself wanting to, I note that it will only make it worse. The constant sting will eventually go away, but oh it is so uncomfortable.

What is the issue? I have mosquito bits the size of pennies all over my legs. Those dirty suckers must have taken a pint of blood with them at each bit. Thankfully I only got one on my arm or it would look like I had mumps.

To the chagrin of some.....sorry it doesn’t look as if any of them carried West Niles, I should be fine in a few days when it stops itching.


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