Just Rannin' Around

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

“The busy have no time for tears”

I feel bad that my blog has been completely neglected this year.  Time seems to be traveling faster than I am capable of moving.  Or maybe it is that I simply have too many items needing attention.  Needless to say this blog is not the only thing that has been thrown on the wayside and seemingly been forgotten.

There have definitely been some adventures happening.  My house is almost an empty shell.  Amazing how naked and impersonal it became when I took down all my pictures.  I have projects every night that I have to accomplish in lines with being ready to be fully moved out on the 5th of May.  This might sound easy but since I have been working 12-15 hour days at work, it doesn’t leave much time for anything else.

My goals that I set for myself have been left sitting in the dust pile of January.  I haven’t had any time to focus on preparing myself for the triathlon that I am registered for in June.  That should make for an interesting event if I don’t get down to business soon.  However I was able (without any training over the last 4 months) to complete the Bike Race in conjunction with the Salt Lake City Marathon.  I shocked myself a bit when I not only completed it, but finished the 26.2 miles in an hour and 25 minutes.  I suppose I am not physically as bad off as I think I am.  Or it could have possibly been that day . . . it is always tough and I had a lot to think about while peddling. 

Basically the only reading that I have done has been in the Old Testament.  I am a mere 200 pages away from finishing that before beginning the Book of Mormon.  It is almost the only reading that I have done and I typically just barely hold my eyes open long enough to get in those ten pages every night before falling into a coma.  Oh how I miss lounging on my couch with a blanket and a good book!

Since I had the audacity to move, things have been piling on my plate in respect to speaking and teaching assignments.  Sunday was, um, interesting.  I wish there would have been a sign above the door that said “Crazyville. Enter at your own risk!”  Regardless of the fact that I was supposed to speak in Sacrament meeting I would have turned around, gone home and crawled back into bed.  I will not go into details of what occurred but I have NEVER before and hope NEVER to experience it again.  Let’s just say that at this point there is a bit of trepidation as I prepare to teach the 5th Sunday lesson for joint Priesthood and Relief Society. 

Hopefully things will come back to some semblance of normal in a week and a half after the move is done.  Although at this point in the game . . . I don’t believe that my life was ever meant to know normal.  What is normal?!

Monday, April 09, 2012

“Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life.”

I have been reminded as of late, in a very awkward way might I add, that although I would love to be married that I am at least not desperate.  It has also been a huge push in helping me see the brighter points of moving. 

There are a few rules that I have for myself when it comes to dating.  The one that I most want to focus on right now is my 10 year rule.  I decided through my dating experience that I am most comfortable with men that are no more than five years older or five years younger than me.  At this length we both basically have the same frame of reference from which we pull, shared experiences and still in about the same time of life.  I’m not saying this rule would work for everyone, I’m just saying that it works for me. 

With that in mind, I have an admirer.  He has been bringing me little trinkets like key chains for a while now and always wanting to sit by me.  None of this really bothered me until yesterday when he presented me with a fully stocked (including a pink stuffed animal) Easter basket in the Chapel.  This alone wouldn’t have been a problem because who doesn’t enjoy receiving gifts.  The problem is in the fact that he is old enough to be my dad (and I believe that he is actually older than my dad).

This is following on the heels of an occurrence at the World Wide Training meeting where again I was asked out after the meeting by a gentleman definitely older than my dad.  Snagged outside the Chapel with no place to retreat and only my quick thinking to attempt to get out of an awkward situation as unscathed as possible. 

I am beginning to feel like I need to stamp “unavailable” on my forehead.  Yes it is flattering to know that at least someone finds me attractive.  However I am still not going to date someone that graduated high school with or before my parents.  If that makes me mean or too picky or is my only opportunity in this life, well then I am choosing to live with those consequences. 

On the happy side of the coin, it has really given me an optimistic view of moving out of my house as quickly as possible.  Only three more weeks and counting!  Although I still don't know where I am going or what life holds in store for me, I am entirely ready for a change.  I believe that this is the first time in 15 years that I have felt total freedom.  Nothing is holding me to anything right now.  It is scary and exciting all at the same time.  I am 37, homeless, completely debt-free and searching for what is supposed to come next for me.  I honestly never, ever pictured my life being here in this place at this time, but it is what it is.  I can either except it and move forward or kick against the pricks which will punish nobody but me. 

Right now my mind and heart are wide open to suggestions. 


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