Just Rannin' Around

Friday, June 30, 2006

Yet another addition!


First thing this morning, there was a new little baby girl added to our family.  We haven't gotten many of the details yet since it was a C-section and they were still getting things stitched up and taken care of when my brother called, but they did decide to name her Lucy.   So tomorrow morning I will have another tiny baby in my arms letting her know who the favorite aunt is!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Utah Symphony at dusk


I spent last evening at the W.V. Cultural Center with a few people that live in my complex.  We walked over and enjoyed a free concert that they will be holding every Monday.   Last night it was Utah Symphony and they will be having a different group each week.  I am very excited!


However the best part was as I walked in, I saw someone running toward me.  I didn't recognize the person at first, but when it finally clicked who it was, I hurried a bit faster.   A huge hug was the greeting.  I haven't seen this person in over a year and it was so good to catch up and to be introduced to the 10-month old daughter that I hadn't yet met.   I played with the baby for an hour while we sat and talked before the concert began.  It hurt my heart to find out that she was again struggling.   Not with the issues that she once had, but with new trails. 


This is someone who seems to spend every waking minute fighting one trial or another.  I have cried tears with her on many occasions.   When the concert started while listening to the music float through the air, I began thinking about the things we are asked to endure.  It sometimes doesn't seem fair how trails are distributed.   Some people seem to get more than their fair share or harder trails through which others will ever be asked to wade.  Others seem to never have a bump in the road.  


What I kept coming back to was that even though we may not think that it is fair, we truly don't know what each person is called to struggle with and we don't know what each and every trial of every person really is.   Some trials are hidden by the person working through it.  I concluded that the only thing that we can do is to just love one another and not compare or judge.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Have you ever had the feeling that you were alone even when you were amidst many?


Have you ever felt the safest when you were spending time by yourself?


Have you ever crawled into your bed and become acutely aware of how alone you truly are?


Have you ever just needed to feel someone's arms wrapped tightly around you to reassure you that life will be okay?


Have you ever felt that no matter what you do it just isn't good enough?


Do you have insecurities and failings that you pray others will never know you have?


Do you ever feel that no matter how much you give, it just doesn't ever seem to do any good?


Have you ever soaked your pillow with your own tears?


Have you ever felt what seemed to be the weight of the world pressing in on you?


Have you ever had to just walk away when all you really wanted to do is hold on tighter?


Have you ever poured your heart and soul out in prayer and received the sweetest answer that made things manageable again?


The page was opened for me.  Small miracles.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Enough is enough!


I became extremely vexed this morning while listening to one of the stories on the Today Show.  I have strong opinions (I don't think anyone that knows me will argue with that statement) and I am about to pull out the soap box on this one.  


What is the issue?  A microphone being turned off in the middle of a high school valedictorian speech because she had the audacity to mention God.   The representatives of the high school stated that she had been warned that it would happen and that they needed to protect the rights of "all" the students.   They also stated that as valedictorian, she stood as a representative of the school and thus needed to follow separation of church and state.


Let me just begin with the statement that the school needed to protect the rights of "all" the students.  Is she not one of those students?  How do they justify that turning the microphone off doesn't take away her rights to freedom of speech?  When the microphone was turned off a major part of the audience started to verbally show their disapproval of the speech being cut short, what about their rights to listen?   Seems to me that they were not actually concerned with protecting the rights of "all" the students, but actually stood to protect the rights of the minority of the students.  


Shall we explore some of the irony of this entire situation?  When she was informed that she had earned the right to be the valedictorian she was asked to focus her speech on how she had achieved all she had in her life and in her education.   That is exactly what she did.  Only then did the school inform her that she couldn't actually tell how she felt she had achieved so much because she gave the credit to God.   They asked her to re-write her speech with the necessary changes that they had made.  So actually they didn't really want her thoughts.   Is it going to get to the point that the administration is just going to read a message at graduation to keep control?  What is next?  How far are we going to let this issue be taken?


I think that the first thing that needs to happen is that there needs to be a mandatory history class for everyone that lives in the United States of America.   They need to be taught the principals upon which this Nation was established.  The entire premises set was to have freedom of worship/religion.   Every thread that bound this country together concerned God.  If one chooses not to worship God, great there are two choices….understand that it is a major part of our society and choose how to deal with it or, nobody is making anyone stay, go to a country that doesn't have God as a basis of their existence.   Harsh?  Yes.  Reality?  Should be.


I am tired of watching every thing slowly disappear because one person is offended and has the means in which to sue.  No prayer in school or mention of God.   Either take out "one nation under God" out of the pledge or stop saying it.  Take down all the statues of the 10 Commandments out of the court houses.   Change all the money because it says "In God We Trust".  No more saying "Merry Christmas".  This list could go on and on and on.   Well it is far past time for the majority to stand and say that these few people are offending us and we will not sit any longer and continue to let this happen to our Nation.  I am not saying take away the rights of anyone.  I am saying that when one chooses to move into a neighborhood, one can't move in expecting to change how everything is done because it offends them.  Refer to the choices above.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Dreams that make you go hmmm

I like to have control of my universe. This includes my thoughts and feelings. I learned again last night that sometimes my subconscious enjoys making me wonder.

I awoke startled around 3:30 this morning. The first thing on my mind..... "what the heck was that all about?” I didn’t have control of my feelings. I didn’t have control over the thoughts that were running across the stage of my mind faster that I could hurl them off. Why? Why now? It has been a little over 4 years since it began and in a few months, a little over 4 years since it ended. I don’t remember all that much of the dream, just seconds actually. However the feelings surged throughout my body making it impossible to slip right back to sleep.

Let’s see what you think….

In the dream (the only portion that I remember that is), I was sitting snuggly next to my ex-boyfriend. I was slightly leaned forward talking to a group of friends that I couldn’t see in the dream since the only thing I saw was the two of us, but I know that the situation in which we were involved. He had his arm behind me with his had resting on my back and his eyes focused on nothing but me. There was a soft glow in his eyes and just the slightest bit of a smile turning the corners of his mouth. It was a look that I became very familiar with while we were dating and one of the things that I missed the most when it was over.

That is all that I remember of the dream. That look haunts me. Not because it is a bad thing, on the contrary, it made me feel safe, respected, special, beautiful, needed, honored and loved. It haunts me because I fear that no one will ever look at me that way again.

It has honestly been a long time since I last thought of him in that sense, so why last night? I don’t know.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Men, be grateful.


Yesterday I went through one of the torturous rituals of being a woman…..hair removal.  I was lasered in the morning, waxed in the early evening and then went home to finish remaining areas with plucking and shaving.   I am now completely silky smooth, but good grief it is a lot of work.  If I didn't like to be silky smooth, I might just consider moving to Europe where the women really aren't concerned or grossed out with how much hair is on their body.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I have allergies!


I never had allergies until a few years ago.  I don't know what made them appear suddenly, but this year they have kicked in with a vengeance.   For instance, I have blown my nose with such force that I am surprised that my toe nails didn't come up and out, but nothing comes out.  My head is so congested that it not only feels as if it weighs 100 pounds but that any given moment it might explode.   My all time favorite though…..when small amounts of air manages to make it through my nasal passages it feels as if I have inhaled water from a chlorinated pool.   Do you know that feeling?   Not pleasant. 


Was all of this to gross you out?  No, but with it comes a little story.


I was on my way to a Bees baseball game where I was meeting my brother, sister-in-law and my nephew.  I figured that it would just be easier (not to mention cost effective) to jump onto Trax.   Well I was at the station on 3300 South waiting for the next train to come when a gentleman came and stood next to me.  I smiled and said hi and then almost immediately sneezed.   He smiled and said, "Bless you.  Allergies?"  I answered in the positive and then stated, "blasted cotton".   You see all of the cotton trees in Utah like to shed the terrible white stuff into the air and in some areas it almost appears to be snowing due to the large amounts floating around.   This man reached up pulled his sunglasses down so I could see his eyes, rolled his scowling eyes while shaking his head and walked away from me.   I am still not quite sure what I said that caused such a reaction.  I have a guess, but that would be very prejudice.


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