Just Rannin' Around

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Reassurances from a loving Father in Heaven pour down like a warm summer rainstorm, drenching my heart and reminding me . . .

It has been a little over a year, or maybe just inching up to a year, at least for me. My memories seem to bring back October as when the overwhelming thoughts, feelings and incredibly sacred moments began to transpire. I am familiar with the Spirit being involved in my life, but there was more depth, more intensity involved. There has been more reassurance and comfort than I ever have known is even possible and definitely not deserved on my part.

I know what I know because I have been given the knowledge. I don’t understand most of it and really it leaves me more confused than ever before. However any doubt that I have allowed in and sometimes doubts that I have personally forced in because I think that I really need to take a huge bite out of reality have immediately been washed away. I have never been in this position before of completely knowing just how involved Heavenly Father is in MY life. Believe me when I tell you that I am far from deserving it because I have been extremely angry with Him. He has patiently listened to hurricanes of nothing but grief come out of my thoughts and mouth only to wrap me gently in His arms and calm the storms within me.

I know what I know and I have been given promises. Promises that my scope of vision cannot possibly comprehend coming to pass, but I am not able to see as He sees. So He sends me droplets of His vision as tender mercies.

“Yea, and he looketh down upon all the children of men; and he knows all the thoughts and intents of the heart; for by his hand were they all created from the beginning.” Alma 18:32

“For the spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls.” Jacob 4:13

“I testify that God is a God of truth. He cannot lie, and all of His promises will be fulfilled. This fact fills my soul with gratitude. I know that all of this is possible because of the atoning sacrifice of our Savior. I also know that our Father reveals His will to us through His Son and through His prophets.” Elder Walter F. Gonzalez

These are a mere three of the thousands of droplets that I have received . . . two of which have been within the last couple of weeks.

I awoke from a dream this morning that normally would have thrown me into a loop causing me to be dizzy, however I woke up instead calm and trusting. In part I was walking down the church hallways with a very small girl holding my hand. I knew that she wasn’t mine but she was extremely attached to me and I knew that she loved me, as I loved her. We walked through a door which placed us in the Celestial Room at the San Diego temple.

My attention was immediately drawn to the balcony above me. There, all dressed in their wedding attire stood so many faces of those that I love so dearly. Multiple generations of two different families, mine being one of them of course and dear friends from across the timeline of my life. The concourse of people that were in the thousands and yet I could distinctively pick out each face glowing with smiles. Then I instinctively knew why I was there. A love filled me from the top of my head right down the tips of my toes. I knew. I looked down into that little child’s eyes and woke up.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

“Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.” –Merle Kessler

There have been so many posts that have been written, just none that have been posted. I may or may not post some of them. Others, well they will never hit the blog but will possibly be printed and put in the journal . . . too much information in them that should be hidden away forever.

Life has been busy. I spent last weekend at home in St. George. Mom had a pace maker put in and so we thought that we would all go and see if we started the microwave if she would pee. Yeah, it doesn’t work. Hey at least we are good for a laugh and laughter is the best medicine. I don’t think that the hospital staff found us as hysterical as we know we are.

For instance, only in my family would this happen . . . we were all sitting in the hospital room and my sister was feeding her baby a bottle of formula. The formula kept clogging the bottle for some reason so that it wasn’t flowing smoothly and upsetting my nephew. My dad looked at my brother who was the closest to my sister and said, “Brian grab the nipple and rub it” (meaning the bottle nipple of course) but my brother reached up with a purely innocent look on his face and with both his thumbs and pointer fingers grabbed his own nipples and started rubbing them while saying, “yeah that does feel better.” All of us, including my dad, burst out laughing. Yeah that is how we roll at our house. One had better have thick skin and a great sense of humor to hang out around us and not get offended.

Anyway in case you haven’t stopped reading after that lovely story, Mom is doing well. We had to keep reminding her that she had to love us because she helped to create us. I didn’t know that a pace maker caused memory loss . . . or maybe that is just old age. Just kidding Mom! Love you!

Last Thursday before heading down home I attended the opening game of the season for University of Utah football. Go Utes! I brought a roll of duct tape knowing that Lewis had run for 1799 yards last year as a freshman. I was incredibly impressed that I didn’t even have to pull it out of my purse. As is typical, our defense is strong, steady and ready to hold (and win the game if they have to).

There were mixed emotions running through me going to this game. I knew there would be questions and I knew I wasn’t ready to answer them . . . so running my own defense, I didn’t. The only thing that really threw me and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry was the first penalty against Pitt. From behind me I heard, “beep, beep, beep, beep, beep . . . back that trash up.” I turned with a smile on my face and was greeted with a high five and the comment, “hey it’s tradition, we have to keep up tradition.” Agreed. I have to admit that I probably have the best seats in the stadium.

All of my male clients still think that it is amazing that I can talk football with the best of them. They are now calling and emailing me for my opinion on games. They find it fascinating that I love the game as much (if not more) than they do. There is a new processor at one of the offices and he just found out about my love of football. After a lengthy email conversation about the game he wrote, “Wow! It is so awesome to be talking to a girl that is so knowledgeable about the game. I’d come over there and kiss you if I weren’t married.” Just another one of my unusual quirks that makes me weird . . . and no he wouldn’t.


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