Just Rannin' Around

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Isaiah is my boyfriend.

The last five weeks we have been studying Isaiah in Sunday School. I spend a chunk of time each day enwrapped in his writings. Basically I spend more time with him than I do with anyone right at the moment. I typically don't put so much into preparing for my lessons, but have found that I become so engrossed that I lose track of time.

Since all that know me, already have come to the realization that I am a bit off my rocker……

I have always picked out the qualities of the women in the scriptures realizing that if I wanted to become a better woman I needed only to incorporate the example of the greatest women that have lived in my own life. In my reading of the scriptures recently, I have begun to pick out qualities that I admire in the men. I have discovered that almost all of them have several things in common.

1. Belief in God and His love

2. Willingness to do all that God requires

3. Respect of women, especially their wife (willing to do whatever it takes to "deserve" her love and acceptance)

4. Thirsting for knowledge

5. Humility and obedience

6. Determination and boldness

7. Service

8. Patience

Not that these are all of them, but these are the ones that have really stood out to me. So although my mom keeps reminding me that Isaiah is not part of the mortal world currently, I think that I will stick with him being my boyfriend……

At least for now!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Hollyoak, here is your request….


7 songs that I can repeat forever and will never tire of hearing:


  1. Hello Again by Neil Diamond


  1. Victim of Love by Erasure


  1. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot


  1. High School Never Ends by Bowling For Soup


  1. For Good from Wicked sung by Kristin Chenaweth and Idina Menzel


  1. Show Me the Money by Petey Pablo


  1. Anything sung by MoTab  :)

Friday, October 13, 2006

Just like the cheese inside a burrito….


I am having one of those weeks where no matter what goes wrong, I can't be brought down from being happy.  I caught myself humming today while at work and then laughed at myself because my heart is just smiling.  Looking back at the week I contribute it to all the hugs.  


I don't fully understand why hugs make me feel so incredible on the inside, but I will never deny that they do have that affect on me.   There are several different types of hugs and there is meaning behind all of them.


Side arm:  This is where you either just have your arms around each others backs and there is a slight pulling in toward each other or where you also have your other arms around the front but you stay side by side.   These are usually hugs of encouragement or appreciation.  They aren't as personal, but are still sweet.  I get a lot of these on Sunday at church and on Wednesday while at the temple. 


One arm up, one arm down:  These are typically the friendship hugs.  Actually this is the way that I hug my girlfriends and guys to whom I am not comfortable getting too close.  It usually comes with a pat on the back.  This is also how I hug everyone in my family with the exception of my dad and mom.


My arms around their waist, their arms around my shoulders:  To me this is a comforting hug.   This is how I hug my mom and dad.  I feel safe, protected and as if all the stress in the world couldn't get to me while I was there.  It is the kind of hug that I want when I am not feeling well either physically or emotionally because it allows me to really cuddle in and not worry about the world around me.


My arms around their shoulders and their arms around my waist:  This is the hug of all hugs.   Only guys with whom I am close with receive these hugs.  There has to be either a great friendship or I have to be dating them.  I was on the receiving end of a few of these hugs on Tuesday night this week from one of my dearest friends who really knows how to hug.   These hugs make me happy and know that someone truly cares.  I love it when both are so comfortable that the hug can last for as long as you want or need and nobody gets uncomfortable.  


Hugs are great little gifts that we can give to make the world a little better one person at a time.

Monday, October 09, 2006

“The harsh reality is that mankind must choose between opposites, between light and darkness, between truth and falsehood, between righteousness and unrighteousness, between happiness and misery. All of these choices are really simple. How delighted the adversary is when he can divert men from deciding about these first things and keep them busy with second, third and fourth things. Repentance takes care of the past, faith the future, and the Holy Ghost helps us with today.”
The Enoch Letters by Neal A. Maxwell

There has been a barrage of realities filling my life the last couple of months. Realities which I never even imagined would enter my simple life. All of them have to do with agency. Lessons learned from my past have come again to hit me full force right between the eyes. I have truly experienced an understanding that surpasses me as an individual.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Is it working?

Recently I have been thinking (no this isn’t a new occurrence, it happens all the time as frightening as it may be) about what makes me tick when it comes to the male gender. See it is very few and far between that I truly take a romantic interest in anyone....I would even say years between even being interested. I have never understood those people that could be interested in just about anyone and be interested in multiple people at the same time. I don’t fall fast, I fall hard and it takes a lot of convincing along the way.

Attraction is, of course, essential and nobody can deny the fact that there has to be some sort of physical draw. Now where this grows and gets out the shallow arena for most of us is that physical attraction can actually grow as people get to know each other. This is what I have been pondering the last couple of days. What is it that really attracts and catches my attention? What makes me ache for that kiss? I have to warn that as I have been looking at it I am probably the weirdest person in the world because the things that I came up with really told me that there is a reason that I don’t become interested very often. I should have been dating in the 1950’s!

I love it when out to dinner the guy casually asks what I am planning on having for dinner and then when the waiter/waitress comes to take the order, he orders for me. I have had two men in my life do this and it made me feel incredible.

Opening doors in AND out of the car, along with all doors which doesn’t seem like a huge thing and I know a lot of women that hate it, but me, I can’t help but adore that they would do this for me. Along with this is making sure that the women in the room have a seat before taking a seat, standing when a lady enters a room (this one is extremely attractive because it rarely occurs) and escorting us either to our cars or homes whichever is applicable in the situation.

Guiding me into a room with their hand on the small of my back or having me take their arm when moving through a crowd, will make my heart flip every time.

A man telling me that I am beautiful, not hot or sexy, but beautiful will gain my respect and trust considerably faster. There is a sense of respect and admiration behind the word beautiful that other words seem to be missing.

When talking he not only listens, but is truly interested in what is being shared. I think along with this comes the fact that they not only want to hear all that is happening in my life, but wants to share what is going on in his because he knows that I am sincerely interested. See I just don't want to be the flavor of the week.

This is a hard one for me to verbalize, but I have come to acknowledge that I really want someone that wants to be with me all the time. I have been so independent, for so long that I like to be by myself at times, but I want to know that he yearns to be at my side even if it isn’t possible. I think it comes down to the fact that I want someone who will fight for the relationship because he loves being with me.

These are just a few of the things that quickly came to mind as I was pondering this subject this weekend. While I was figuratively connecting the dots, I also realized that I almost always fall for friends. In almost every dating situation that I have had over my life, with but a few exceptions, I had known and was friends with the guy for at least a year before we ever started dating. Why? I watch and attraction grows out of seeing him interact with others and how he treats me in a friendship. Not that is always works out. On the contrary, once a friendship is formed it is extremely difficult to flip it into a dating relationship, mostly because one or other party doesn’t/can’t think of the other in that way.

Hearts are more on the line when it is a friendship. I have learned twice now that when friends kiss it typically freaks the guy out (at least in my situations) and they can no longer carry on a friendship because they no longer know how to act around me. So not only do I lose the possibility that someone that I already totally trust and admire could love me, but that a friendship I love comes to an abrupt end.

Weird that I have spent so much time thinking about this, yes and no. I really try to avoid this topic because it is exacerbating, but honestly I feel like every now and then it is good to take an inventory. Possibly am I expecting something that doesn’t exist? Am I able to give to someone as much as I expect? Am I where I need to be in my life? So many more questions.....and way too much time to think about them!


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