Just Rannin' Around

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Interesting weekend.....

There are a lot of things happening in my life that I am still not sure what to do with them and so they are just hanging out there nagging to be put in a permanent place.

My brain has been on auto-pilot. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I know that it isn’t a great thing either.

I have found myself in a box that seems to continually be growing smaller. It isn’t that I don’t know how to get out, it’s that I am unsure of whether I actually want to get out. Comfort can be found in small places.

This weekend, however I found myself volunteering for a camp designed for amputees. Upon arrival on Friday night I was given a limb loss. My paper explained that I had lost my right leg at the knee in a bombing while serving my country in a war. Immediately I was handed crutches and instructed that for the duration of the evening I could not use my right leg. I then had to go and set up camp, help prepare dinner and then attempt to do all my normal activities. I quickly learned how grateful I was for two completely functioning arms, hands, legs and feet. What have always been simple tasks in my life turned into huge projects that took more time and patience that I expected. I grew frustrated and finally just started asking others around me for a ton of help.

I made it to bed that night totally exhausted and although the ground in a tent is not usually the most comfortable place on which to sleep, that night it was like sleeping on a feather bed because I was so sore from hopping around. The next morning our limb loss changed and we all lost our dominant arm. Eating breakfast, changing clothes, doing crafts and breaking camp all had an entirely new meaning. It took a lot of team work to get things tied and placed in bags. Once again it was a frustrating experience. I have to admit that I was so mentally exhausted trying to do everything that I gave up and used my other hand which the punishment was to sing a song. Believe me, the song was well worth singing to have the use of my arm for a minute.

I gained a whole new respect for people that go through day to day live with such disabilities. They amaze me at the variety of things that they are able to accomplish through pure determination. I couldn’t even handle getting through a couple of days and they spend a lifetime overcoming and succeeding. I was very grateful to get all of my extremities back, but I was even more grateful for the new understanding. I think that it really sometimes comes down to walking in someone else’s shoes for a while to realize to a greater extent the difficulties with which they are dealing. I also feel that for a while I was able to get out of my normal selfish world and truly see that although I have my struggles and trials in life, that I am also so incredibly blessed.

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