Dreams
I am beginning to realize that I should never sleep anywhere except my own bed. When I am not at home, curled up in the comforts of familiar surroundings, I don’t sleep as well and then dreams are remembered.
This past week I have been on a family vacation far, far away in Park City. :) It was so wonderful to be with 20 members of my immediate family (yes that really does just include my parents and siblings, their spouses and children). For me, family means everything! They are a source of strength and truly the only people that I absolutely, without a doubt, know will always be in my life no matter what my moods or decisions or where life takes me. I don’t ever question, nor doubt their love and support. Sure we are crazy, but life is better with a little crazy!
Since I was in Park City for the week, I was not sleeping as soundly and my dreams were taking me to places that I thought I had boxed up tightly and carefully discarded after appropriately wading through the emotions. I still have yet to figure out why I went back to these specific journeys, but the unusual part was that they would start at the beginning of the timeline, flash through all the happy memories and then end in present time. The dream which occurred on Wednesday night was so real that when I finally woke myself up, I found that I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
It was an extremely warm evening and we were walking hand in hand to nowhere in particular, just enjoying each others company. I was basking in the warmth of not only the setting sun, but of honestly feeling love and being loved. Then the memory of being with his family and knowing in my heart that they also gladly accepted and loved me and the warmth of his mother’s hug and the happy tone in his father’s voice when I came into their home. Finally, sitting in the temple together knowing that if both of us were willing to work and love and fight, it would work.
All of the middle part was skipped and suddenly I found myself sitting in front of this man to whom at one time I had given my heart. It seemed as if I entered in the midst of the conversation. He was telling me how much he was in love. How life had become so much more inspiring and how much better he felt that he needed to be in order to be worthy for such a wonderful woman. I saw it. I saw it in his eyes as he told me about her. It was the look that once upon a time he had reserved for only me, the look that I knew so well, the look that told me he was truly, deeply in love.
He had come to me to make sure that I was okay. He had come to tell me that he was moving forward and he didn’t want me to find out any other way than straight from him. He was there to ask my permission in a way. I smiled at him.
This is where the dream ended. I forced my eyes open and then smiled as I remembered. As I looked through the dreams which I had this week, I have realized that I have been incredibly lucky in my life to have not only a someone but a few someones, even if for but a brief moment, think that I am pretty incredible and worthy to be a part of their heart.
I am beginning to realize that I should never sleep anywhere except my own bed. When I am not at home, curled up in the comforts of familiar surroundings, I don’t sleep as well and then dreams are remembered.
This past week I have been on a family vacation far, far away in Park City. :) It was so wonderful to be with 20 members of my immediate family (yes that really does just include my parents and siblings, their spouses and children). For me, family means everything! They are a source of strength and truly the only people that I absolutely, without a doubt, know will always be in my life no matter what my moods or decisions or where life takes me. I don’t ever question, nor doubt their love and support. Sure we are crazy, but life is better with a little crazy!
Since I was in Park City for the week, I was not sleeping as soundly and my dreams were taking me to places that I thought I had boxed up tightly and carefully discarded after appropriately wading through the emotions. I still have yet to figure out why I went back to these specific journeys, but the unusual part was that they would start at the beginning of the timeline, flash through all the happy memories and then end in present time. The dream which occurred on Wednesday night was so real that when I finally woke myself up, I found that I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
It was an extremely warm evening and we were walking hand in hand to nowhere in particular, just enjoying each others company. I was basking in the warmth of not only the setting sun, but of honestly feeling love and being loved. Then the memory of being with his family and knowing in my heart that they also gladly accepted and loved me and the warmth of his mother’s hug and the happy tone in his father’s voice when I came into their home. Finally, sitting in the temple together knowing that if both of us were willing to work and love and fight, it would work.
All of the middle part was skipped and suddenly I found myself sitting in front of this man to whom at one time I had given my heart. It seemed as if I entered in the midst of the conversation. He was telling me how much he was in love. How life had become so much more inspiring and how much better he felt that he needed to be in order to be worthy for such a wonderful woman. I saw it. I saw it in his eyes as he told me about her. It was the look that once upon a time he had reserved for only me, the look that I knew so well, the look that told me he was truly, deeply in love.
He had come to me to make sure that I was okay. He had come to tell me that he was moving forward and he didn’t want me to find out any other way than straight from him. He was there to ask my permission in a way. I smiled at him.
This is where the dream ended. I forced my eyes open and then smiled as I remembered. As I looked through the dreams which I had this week, I have realized that I have been incredibly lucky in my life to have not only a someone but a few someones, even if for but a brief moment, think that I am pretty incredible and worthy to be a part of their heart.
posted by B at
6:39 PM
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