Just Rannin' Around

Friday, July 06, 2007

Do you know which way you receive/give love?

I have always been intrigued with this subject. I think that a lot of it has to do with the fact that the way I want to receive love is not necessarily the same way that I choose to give love. I always found that a little odd because most people have a tendency to do it all one way because they figure if that is how they feel loved it must be the same way others like to receive it. I have come to realize why I receive love a different way than I choose to give love. I will explain later.

The five love languages are as follows:

- Words of Affirmation (verbal appreciation)
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch

Even as a baby I knew what I wanted. My parents always tell me what a pill I was even as an infant. I insisted on being rocked to sleep in their arms. As soon as they knew they had me in a deep sleep, they would quietly walk to the crib and attempt to put me in it. However no sooner had I left the comforts of being close to their body, my little eyes would pop open and it would be another round of rocking. I crave physical touch.

Growing up I found myself in a family that had very distinctive personal space bubbles. Physical touch was not given unless the boys decided that it was home version of WWF night. That was always fun (please be sure to read that statement with the sarcasm running out of it that I intended to have in it). Now I am not saying that I went without. I got plenty of hugs from Mom and Dad and my grandparents to know that I was safe and loved, however I had to learn to show people that I loved them in a different way because they didn’t like physical touch.

As I look at things that I have done in the past, I have learned that I show love by giving gifts. It could be in the form of a card or an actually present or paying for dinner or a hundred other things, but that is how I express it. Again this is a little unusual that I would choose this one because the rest of my family is completely verbal in giving and receiving. Of course I have always felt that I was unable to express myself as well as everyone else in my family (a little verbally handicapped in comparison) so I found I was more comfortable doing something different.

As I continue learning, I really try to express my love in the love language of the person with whom I am dealing. Sometimes it is totally obvious and other times I can’t tell at all. If we didn’t discuss things like this in my family, my guess is that they would think that I wanted to receive love the same way that I give it. So I try to watch these patterns in others to see if they are actually giving in a way that is different from how they actually want to receive.

Needless to say I am typically always up for a hug that lasts a while!

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