The weather outside is frightful

Having lived in northern Utah since 1994, one would probably come to the natural conclusion that I would be used to having to function in the winter months. I am here to declare that I don’t think that I will ever be used to it and probably never enjoy it. Honestly, hibernation would be the option of my choice. My St. George roots take hold every time I have to step out into the white, blistery stuff falling from the sky (although you would be hard pressed to convince me that it doesn’t really come from hell).

Now before anyone jumps down my throat let me put in a disclosure that:

a) I know that snow is needed and that it supplies us with most of our water for the year and so I am grateful for it in that aspect

b) I really do think that it is beautiful when it is anywhere except the sidewalks and streets upon which I have to walk and drive

c) I enjoy making snow angels, snowmen, having snow ball fights, going sledding and all kinds of frolicking

d) Not that I need an excuse, but it is one of the best excuses to cuddle, hold hands and just be extremely close for extended periods of time to someone you love

I get it. It definitely serves multiple purposes, but . . . .

I despise having to drive in it! I white knuckle the steering wheel. I always feel like I am sliding. I have a stomach ache the entire time. I don’t trust any of the other drivers around me. I feel like I have escaped the clutches of death upon arrival at my destination. I worry about everyone I love.

Yesterday was no exception. I drive an SUV with four-wheel drive. I don’t think that I got my vehicle going any faster than 20 miles an hour (even on I-15), yet all around me were compact cars of all makes and models zipping around like it was a warm, clear day in the middle of August. Slow down ramjet or someone is going to get road rash!

I watched a truck in front of me hit some ice and turn 360s across all four lanes of the freeway, only stopping when forced to by the median wall. He was going fast enough and hit hard enough that his airbags deployed. The two men (probably seeing panic on my face) in the car in the lane next to me waved me to keep going and they slowly pulled over to see if they could help.

I finally got off the freeway and was literally two turns away from being at work and able to breathe again when I got a surprise . . . and not a good one. I was stopped at the red light on 1300 East waiting to turn right when I looked up to see a bird flying toward me. I didn’t think anything of it until it flew straight into my car antenna. Poor thing must have knocked itself senseless because if fell to a skidding halt in a large snow bank at the side of the road. It was almost like witnessing a live cartoon. I am positive that this bird hates winter as much as me and should have flown south long ago.

I think that I need to buy a tank and have someone drive me everywhere when it is snowing. That is possibly the only way that I would feel safe.