“Men have always been afraid that women could get along without them.” –Margaret Mead

We had been dating for a while and were to the point that I received a phone call every morning just to say hi and to say that he could hardly wait to see me later that day. Yes we were together every day almost without fail which sometimes wasn’t easy since both of us had extremely full schedules, but we always seemed to make it work. It was incredibly nice not to have to wonder when I would get to see him next or question exactly how he felt about me. For some reason I feel the need to share totally random memories. They don’t necessarily connect but as I think about him, memories have been flashing through my mind verses one specific memory that sticks out.

-Butterflies still flutter in my stomach as I think about him walking up behind me and slipping his arms around my waist in a hug. He most frequently did this when I was involved in a conversation with someone and I had no idea he was any where nearby. It was his little signal to me that he was ready to go whenever I was and probably his little signal to others that I was with him.

-Watching movies curled up on the couch with his arms wrapped around me and my head resting on his chest.

-Seeing that little look of awe in his eyes the first time his little sister called me instead of him for advice about boys and wanting me to come over to help her choose which prom dress to wear. Same looked happened when we were walking through the garage laughing and his dad and grandpa were under the car fixing it and his grandpa said, “Is that my Brenda?” and then got up to hug me.

-Starting a huge water fight with him at a family party. I ended up in the pool set up for the kids but not before he had a bucket of water dumped over his head. We only got his mom a little bit wet . . . oops! Good thing she is a good sport. Then having a huge family sleepover that night in the back yard and having his sister blush when he came in our tent to kiss me goodnight before joining the guy’s tent for the evening.

-Finding out from his best friend the rest of the story. During the first part of our relationship, his best friend had been living in New York. When he got back into town, we went over so that I could meet him. The first words out of his mouth to me were, “so you are the girl that has had his full attention for a year.” Well at this point we had only been dating for about three months so I was more than a little confused. His friend went on to explain that all he talked about was me for a year. He had been wanting to ask me out for a very long time, but it never seemed like the right time (later that night when it was just the two of us he explained that he didn’t ask me out because he knew that he would marry me if he dated me so it had to be the perfect date). Needless to say that his best friend gave me a ton more insight into just how much he cared for me. It made for interesting discussions on the way to his house and I don’t know how much he told his best friend after that spillage of information. It was quite funny.

The greatest lesson that I learned from him was that I can believe in my heart and head if I will let go of the many fears that I allow to rule me.