“When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy.”
-C.S. Lewis The Problem Of Pain


Yesterday was a day of reflection. It was one of those times when my body went through the motions of the day, but when my entire soul was in a race that circled from my brain to my heart. It was an incredibly long race which must have consisted of a billion laps.....give or take a lap.

I have been trying to figure out where I fit into life lately. It is an odd sensation for me because I have always known exactly where I belong, where my puzzle piece fit into everyone’s picture. For some reason, my piece has changed and it no longer fits as comfortably into the space where it once was a perfect match. Actually I think that along with my piece changing, the pictures are also changing.

However, I realize that with the change there are pictures that my piece will fit into even better although right now the changes haven’t completely occurred so the piece still fits a little awkwardly. Sadly in other pictures, my piece will only disrupt the color scheme and final theme and so it won’t ever fit again and becomes an edge piece to memories that once were.

As I was lying on the lawn in front of one of the most spectacular buildings in downtown Salt Lake contemplating such events, I came to the conclusion that no matter what the end becomes all would be well. Others have to figure out where I fit in their picture, I need only to stand still and wait for the time being. Waiting is not something that comes easy to me. I want to fix it and make everything comfortable and happy as quickly as possible and exactly as I want them to be. In this instance, I am not going to be allowed to do so.

I can be found on the swings.