“Deep in my heart I’m concealing things that I’m longing to say. Scared to confess what I’m feeling – frightened you’ll slip away.”

Friday night I went over to my friend Emily’s house to watch a movie. She lives in my complex and as I always do, I just walked over. We had a great time chatting and then watched a movie (actually we did have to pause the movie at one point because a conversation was needed right in the middle). It was a really fun time and much needed on my part (thanks Emily).

After the movie, I gathered up the movies and treats that I had bombarded her house with and started the minute walk back to my house. Normally (and for some very good reasons) I am a very cautious individual when I am by myself and even more so when it is late at night and I am out by myself (Dad, I promise it doesn’t happen very often). However I think because of the proximity between our homes and the fact that I have always felt incredibly safe in my neighborhood, I wasn’t paying attention to much other than attempting to avoid slipping on the ice on the road (which I had done on the way over).

I had just turned the corner, which means I was across the street and about three houses away from being at my front door, when I got this creepy feeling that I was being watched. My head immediately snapped up and scanned the area. My eyes quickly took in the situation and my heart began to race. Coming straight down my path and no more than 30 feet between us was somebody I would not have liked to meet in the street mid-day with a group of friends and here it was almost 11 pm, my arms full, keys in my coat pocket and by myself. I knew that my high-heeled boots chattering down the street had given away my presence way before I knew that he was there.

Quick assessment: about 6’5” tall and weighed probably close to 220

A side glance told me that he was directly across the road from my home which is where he paused. I believe this is the moment that the word “crap” (or some other form of said word) crossed my mind. I slowed my pace just enough to shift everything I was holding to one arm so that I could pull out my keys before getting to my door. I causally crossed to my side of the street and hurried to my door. Now I had to turn my back to him. Not something that I particularly wanted to do, but if I wanted to get my door unlocked it had to happen.

Have you ever tried to unlock your door while shaking? For something that is done day in and day out without issue, it was the longest process in the universe. I was happy to hear the sound of my alarm start to chime as the door finally swung open. I about tripped over myself attempting to get my door shut and locked. There was no hesitation turning the alarm off the away setting and immediately setting it to stay. I don’t think that my heart or my shaking stopped for at least an hour after I crawled into bed. My ears went into hypersensitive mood as I listened for any sign of someone trying to enter. This is the point where I wanted to make a phone call so I didn’t have to be by myself, but my stupid insecurities, independence . . . call it what you like . . . wouldn’t let me.

This is always one of those moments where I always think that every woman in the world that is lucky enough to have a husband and someone to share her bed with every night, better be incredibly grateful. I am sure there is nothing better than curling up in your husband’s arms and feeling safe, protected not alone. Have you kissed you husband today and told him you love him? Do it!