Just Rannin' Around

Monday, February 28, 2005

Call me slow….I am clueless!

Typically emotional throw up is not something that spews from my mouth or in this case from my fingers, so forgive me while I vent for a moment…it will be brief.

I am a confident individual. I know what I believe and, although I am far from being perfect in anything, I strive everyday to better myself. I, like most, have had to fight for everything that I have. Nothing has been handed to me. I have better days than others, but for the most part I am comfortable with what I have accomplished in this crazy world including physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and socially.

There is one area in which I don’t know up from down, at least when it comes to my own life. Unfortunately because of a few different variables (ie living in Utah and still being single when I am older than 23), it is an area that is brought to my attention far more than I would have it be there. The statements and questions have been forthcoming since last week and accelerated this weekend. There is never any harm meant and I usually take it in stride as the rhetorical question is almost always quickly followed by several compliments, however I have never had to deal with it in such a concentrated time frame.

“Why aren’t you married?” in question form and “I just don’t understand why you aren’t married.” in statement form. Then it is always followed by, “you are so fun, intelligent, put together and beautiful.” To this I have learned to just shrug my shoulders and thank them for the nice words. I wish I had an answer. I don't. I received two doses of this on Saturday. Sunday was not any easier. Actually, it was around four hours of being hammered with people saying about the same thing and then walking away shaking their heads like I had some sort of disease that would cause a horrible death and they were unsure of how to comfort me. If it ended at this I wouldn’t have an issue, but it didn’t.

I have discovered through a few people that I am also hindering a friend and that is unacceptable to me and is probably the reason behind my frustration. There has been talk going around that there are quite a few men that are interested in her and yet they won’t ask her out because she hangs out with me. This causes them to think that she is like me, which must be horrible because it stops them from acting on their interest. I know that I have a strong personality. I know that I am independent. I know that I like to be in the middle of everything. I know, I know. I’m sorry, but don’t think that just because I am overbearing that the people that hang out with me are the same way. I have an idea. Have some guts and quit using me as an excuse!

Okay I’m done. Sorry, here is a towel to clean that up.

10 Comments:

  • You know, although I am younger, and thus don't get asked the same questions quite so often... I feel your annoyance.

    I'm so tired --especially of men saying this-- "I just don't get it. You're pretty, you're funny, you're smart, you're fun to be with... Why aren't you dating someone?"

    Well, ya'll, it's simple. I can't seem to find anyone that'll match me stride for stride.

    As for hindering guys from asking your friends out, the only experience I've had with that is a little bit different... ;) Personally, if a guy used that excuse with me, I'd deem him a big waste of time.

    Here I go a rambling. This is my point, I think... I'm learning that the only person who ought to worry about my relationship status is me, and as far as that is concerned, I'm learning that I have to replace my fears with faith. I'm also learning that one "little" hang up can mean the world, and if it's something like who I'm friends with, there's sure to be another problem much bigger and deeper than that later on.

    Hm. Sorry, didn't mean to bring out the soap box.

    By Blogger Kate, At 12:34 PM  

  • You know you are amazing, and as for those stupid boys who won't ask girls out, they need to grow up! Honestly I have also heard that little rumor, and thought it was a bunch of crap! Sorry for being an independent woman, and trying to be successful while you are single, obviously it is a bad idea, but i don't knwo i think that i heard an amazing woman speak last night who is in her 50's and not married yet. Sure we all want to get married eventually, but since it hasn't happend yet what is wrong with trying to better our sleves? To know who we are and waht we want?What a tragedy! Maybe if we all were dumb and jsut did what ever boys wanted us to we wouldn't have so many problems.

    By Blogger Domestic Goddess, At 3:39 PM  

  • You're all amazing women and the guys just need to grow up and stop using lame excuses (which probably aren't even true, by the way). And somewhere along the line guys will come along who aren't intimidated by smart, independent, amazing women. Those are the ones you really want anyways.

    By Blogger Heidi, At 3:52 PM  

  • I've heard QUITE ENOUGH bagging on guys as if we're the only ones at fault in situations like this! If there's any justifiable blame, it belongs on BOTH sides. I've been given many STUPID excuses by many girls in my time. My personal opinion is that there IS NO BLAME to be laid anywhere. It's just a matter of time before any individual finds his/her mate. "Impatience is the repudiation of the omniscience of God." There's no doubt in my mind that JRA will marry a good man worthy of her, and she of him. It simply hasn't happened yet--BIG DEAL. I can talk because I've had to endure the SAME interrogations she has (over three years LONGER, mind you), and it's NOT because I haven't been dating. Most of the time, people don't realize they're being annoying when they ask why one isnt' married--it's just an odd way of being complimentary. Let's all just take a deep breath and stop worrying about it so damn much. JRA: I understand your frustration, really I do. Chin up. :)

    By Blogger MDJ, At 4:15 PM  

  • “Why aren’t you married?” in question form and “I just don’t understand why you aren’t married.” in statement form

    LOL!!!!!!

    ok. so, now that ive picked my-self up from the floor id like to say a few choice words for all to hear.

    first, that post was FLIPPIN SWHEET! ...lovin it.

    second, fact of life...men are RETARDED! women are COMPLEX!

    third, if marriage is so freaking cool and everyone tells you to do it, why are 1 out of every 2 people not stickin to it? any arguments?? i didnt think so.

    fourth, does marriage become stigmatic at age 30, 40 or even 50? a 59 year old colleague of mine has been re-married for 6 months now...yeah, so shes been married...so what! she got married now.

    finally JRA, if a man really wants to date someone...he will. remember, excuses are like herpes...i think everyone has em hidden somewhere or another, and they suck.

    seriously though, i promise you that any guy who is so shallow as to scrutinize and evaluate a girl amid her friends is obviously not even worth a sneeze in his direction. perhaps a burp or maybe...uh, nevermind

    By Blogger will, At 5:25 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger will, At 5:32 PM  

  • oh yeah, and another thing...
    marriage is FOR-E-VER! not just a butcher cruise at night through eel-infested waters...oh no baby, its FOR-E-VER! so choose wisely, take your time, and fogetabatit

    By Blogger will, At 5:35 PM  

  • One of these days a guy will be brave enough to go after what all guys say they really want (a strong, amazing, spiritual woman who knows who she is as a daughter of God). Preferably more than one guy will finally get a clue, since there are a lot of us out there. Until then, I'm sure glad we've got all this "ambitious" stuff to keep us busy.

    By Blogger Jeje, At 7:34 PM  

  • Wow, this place is exploding.

    I really have nothing to add other than a question to throw at you.

    Some of you are bagging the guys for "lame excuses", but here is a question. Can a man with poor dating skills make a good husband?

    Come to think of it, you may not want to marry a man or woman with good dating skills which may come in handy if/when he/she gets tired of you and starts looking around. Then again, dating skills can also be useful in sustaining the fire of romance, but it is said that romance is just one of a myriad of necessary ingredients of a good marriage.

    I suppose "dating skills" will have to be further defined to explore this issue.

    By Blogger David Cho, At 8:26 PM  

  • Oh just one more thing.

    If these annoying people think asking a person why he/she isn't married, then we reserve a right to ask them why they are.

    50% of first time marriages end up in divorce (and that percentage goes up by 10% for each subsequent marriage. For example, 60% of second time marriages fail and 70% of third time marriages likewise). And 50% of those who remain married are said to be very unhappy, but they stick with it just because..

    Basically 75% of marriages fail, so 75% of married people deserved to be confronted with the question why they are married. Hey, its only fair.

    But yet try to survey couples set to marry this weekend. 100% of them will tell you that they are 100% sure that they will end up in he top 25%.

    By Blogger David Cho, At 8:35 PM  

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