Holiday Help Wanted:  Currently hiring for left tackle position to cover my blind side.  Must be able and willing to work Sundays.

I made a decision almost two years ago.  That decision included that I was no longer willing to be set up.  I am aware of the fact that 99% of the population of the world does not agree with my decision, but I am also incredibly aware that I don’t care.  I don’t expect anyone to understand it nor do I think that I have any obligation to explain it.  I suppose my mistake was expecting people to at least respect it.

I fully comprehend that it is the holiday season and all that entails being single during said time.  I also know that people do and say things like this because they love me and want to “fix” my situation.  They can’t fathom having to do things by themselves and it makes them uncomfortable to watch me do it. 

Being single is not for the faint of heart.  It is a learned art of deciding what the heart can handle from day to day (and sometimes even minute to minute).  Such as, I have been invited to several holiday gatherings all of which I would love to attend but sometimes when the day is there and I know it is a day that I can’t handle being in a situation with all married people, I have to decide not to go in order to stay okay.  So please don’t be offended if I don’t show up, I just didn’t have the strength in me.  Know that I completely love and appreciate being invited and I fully intended on coming if I said I would be there.  I am not a flake, just needing to keep my emotional well-being. 

With all of that said, let me share the latest and greatest and why I need some covering. 

I love my ward.  I love being in a home ward.  I love that I feel like I am there for spiritual feeding and not at the local meat market.  I don’t worry about anything other than always being prepared to always teach any of the classes with only a two minute warning.  I was not prepared for the unseen unsportsmanlike conduct after Relief Society on Sunday.

I was summoned by one of the couples out into the hall after the meeting.  Standing there against the wall (as I found out during the introduction) was their nephew.  Now I had zero game strategy at this point and just tried to be as cordial as possible since I had just been smashed head first into the ground.  I didn’t receive any help with conversation.  They did the brief introduction and then stood back with their chests puffed up admiring their fabulous set up skills and the guy . . . who had warning about why he was coming to their ward and couldn’t stop smiling once I walked out into the hall . . . stood there and barely gave me one word responses to any questions.  Thank goodness for only 10-minute breaks in between classes and I was saved by an opening prayer.  Trying again to be polite, I invited him to join us in Gospel Doctrine. 

As far as I could tell, there wasn’t anything wrong or revolting about him.  He was actually a fairly good looking man . . . not much to say and a bit awkward . . . but nothing horrible or that time wouldn’t fix.  However, I am not in that place.  I don’t have my heart to give.  It wouldn’t be fair to pretend that I did.  So setting it up so that I don’t have an option whether or not I meet someone is definitely a late, blind side hit.  I don’t think giving them a 15-yard penalty for a personal foul would do any good though.  No, I will just smile and pretend all is well knowing that their intentions were good.