Just Rannin' Around

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Weird and random dreams

I have been sick since Sunday. The cold that I acquired from an unknown source has grown in intensity and made life rather miserable. I am not one that likes to take medication because I think that my body is better off naturally fighting the sickness and pain, however after not being able to sleep on Monday night due to congestion, I decided to make an exception. I went to the store last night and got some Tylenol Cold (Nyquil no longer has a decongestant in it).

Sleep was nice and deep last night. So much so that I didn’t even hear the two text messages that I got! However did you know that medicine makes you have really random dreams? I woke up with a smile on my face, but the medicine had clearly worn off since I was back to not being able to breathe out of my nose! Of course I took it and went to bed at 9:00 pm and didn’t get up until 7:00 am. I guess it did its job to get me through the night.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

“Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It is seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” –Sam Keen

This is the fifth and final blog concerning some of my past relationships. In doing these I have discovered, smiled, cried, hurt and healed. One of the things that I realized is that three out of these five met their wife while they were dating me (I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that small discovery). I have relearned several things about myself and have been enlightened to things that I would have never otherwise seen. I have held onto some things that have since been released and I have found things that I will hold dear in my heart throughout the eternities. These men shared a piece of their life with me and for that I will forever be grateful.

I knew that he was dating a lot when he took me to the same place for the first two dates and didn’t realize it until we were headed home from the second date. However we did totally different things each time so it wasn’t a repeat date and actually both dates were incredibly fun. It became a source of humor and planning as we continued dating.

For those that even slightly know me, know that I am a die hard University of Utah football fan. I am even a season ticket holder because I enjoy it so much. He graduated from BYU and knowing this about me, the first gift that I received from him was a hoody . . . a BYU hoody. I think that I laughed about it that entire night. Of course his first comment was that I wasn’t allowed to burn it which only made me laugh harder. I honestly still think that it was cute of him and I still laugh about it.

Not being from Utah, he traveled home for a couple of weeks to spend some time with his family. Text messaging ensued and made me miss him more than words could express. He was thoughtful and tender in his words. I had given him a blanket to keep warm while I wasn’t there and he sent me a message that said that he guessed that the blanket would have to do but next year he would expect to cuddle more than just my blanket. I knew that he was missing me as much as I was missing him.

One of my favorite things was the way that he watched me. I would be cooking dinner in the kitchen or walking into the room or talking to someone and I would catch him watching me. His eyes were filled with wonder, almost as if he stopped looking at me I would disappear. When I would catch him, he would pull me into a hug that spoke for itself. I never could get out of him what he was thinking when he was looking at me like that, but I know that it made me feel like I was the only person in the world that he ever wanted to look at or see.

We talked a lot about life. Life growing up and life as it stood. We discussed in length the things that would affect each other and our relationship. We were both striving to become better people attempting to overcome our weaknesses. We shared things from the deepest, scariest places of our fears and our greatest hopes and dreams for the future. He allowed me to open my heart which is something that I hadn’t done for too many years. I had no fear of being ridiculed for being myself. I felt safe and as if I had a home in his arms.

The greatest lesson that I learned from him was that letting people in may cause pain, but you never truly love unless you are willing to hand them your heart.


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