Just Rannin' Around

Monday, November 27, 2006

It’s raining, it’s snowing!

Tonight I am curled up on my couch, blinds open and all lights off with the exception of the glow of the Christmas tree bulbs. The snow is gently falling outside for the first time this holiday season and since I am comfortably warm and safe in my house, I am enjoying watching it peacefully fall to the earth.

One of the things that I truly love about this time of year is losing my thoughts in the lights of my Christmas tree. There is something so comforting about a Christmas tree. My guess is that it reminds me of being home. Home means safety and unconditional love. Home means security and guidance. Home means warmth and affection. Home means rest.

As I watch the snow tonight I have realized that no matter the weather, when I am home it is all beautiful. There are amazing thunder and lightening shows that carry with them incredible power and majesty. There are rain storms that beg to be listened to and then standing on the porch immediately drench every part of me. There are snow storms that carefully float each gigantic flake tenderly down to form a blanket so white and clean. There are windstorms so powerful that I imagine that I might just end up in Oz if I close my eyes long enough. There are day that the sun is so warm and bright that it can’t help but make my blue eyes blaze with excitement. At home every weather forecast is never scary or dismal.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

A little help please.....

For the last three years I have not stayed at home for New Year’s. The first year I left, I had decided I was tired of trying to find something exciting to do so that when people asked what I had done it wasn’t a disappointment to me all over again because really nothing spectacular had occurred.

However I learned that when I left all I had to say that I went to Oregon or California or anywhere and the additional questions about specifics and, more importantly the kissing questions stopped completely. After all I was in a new exciting place where I didn’t know anyone so it was no longer expected that kissing should occur.....especially when the person asking knows that I won’t just kiss someone to kiss.

My saying for the last three years has been that I won’t stay at home for New Year’s until someone makes it worth while for me to stay. Flights are super expensive this year. I have been looking for two months now at places like Seattle, Washington or even just back to California. Oh no, even flights there that are typically fairly inexpensive are outrageous! Now my dilemma is what to do this year. I refuse to pay the price that the airlines are asking when it is double what it normally is, but I can’t swallow having to stay home either.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I can’t stop this feeling, deep inside of me.....

Back from the excursions in Mexico. Listen I am sorry that it took me a week to post, but some things just can’t be helped. I have been working 10 – 12 hours a day at work trying to catch up, which really makes me wonder if leaving is worth it. Then I remember that is a stupid thought and that a vacation is always worth taking especially when it is with a group of friends whom I love dearly.

I watched and learned a lot during the week of relaxing on either one of the decks of the cruise ship or on one of the many beaches in Mexico. It was a very reflective week for me. I gained some new insight and understanding about myself which I hope will be helpful in my life and with dealing with others. For example, I have learned that I really would rather just spend some good one on one time discussing things that truly matter than hanging out with a huge group. I am an extremely social person, but when it comes right down to it, I crave that individual interaction. I want past the surface and almost all without exception will only share on an individual basis.

One of the other things that I noticed is that for the most part people assume that if I am with a guy that we are dating or married. The assumption is never that we could just be friends. More than once I was asked about my boyfriend or husband. Since it was almost always brought up by another guy that didn’t know me, I wonder if it was a question to field out the situation, but that thought was quickly dismissed as that kind of thing just doesn’t happen to me. I would then take a quick inventory.....wasn’t holding their hand, wasn’t kissing them, wasn’t even really sitting that close. Okay sure, we were together and we were talking, but I didn’t realize that indicated that I was dating or married to them. Last time I checked that was fairly good indications of friendship. Not only that, why did they always direct it to me and not the guy? Since I really didn’t care to explain, I would just kind of go around it and change the subject. Neither of the guys that this happened with I think even knew it had happened or I am sure that it would have been quickly clarified. In retrospect I think that because I am not being treated as I would hope to in a dating/marriage relationship, that others should pick up on that also, but I guess it is all in a difference of perspective.

Overall it was a great week. I would have liked to spend some additional time with a few people that I didn’t get an opportunity to, but it was an excellent getaway. Thank you all for coming and being such wonderful friends. A girl can’t ask for much more!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Off and rannin'
I will be leaving today and won't be back for another week.  I am extremely excited about the time finally arriving!  I hope everyone has a great week and I will return shortly from my adventures in Mexico to share.


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