Just Rannin' Around

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

They are dropping like flies around this place!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Out exploring.

I have been attending numerous random activities. Going to places where I don’t have a clue whether or not I will even know anyone there.....all in the name of attempting to widen my horizons or build a bigger networking circle. I have met a few interesting people, but what I am finding is that for the most part people just prefer to stay in their comfort zones.

I know that I have been guilty of this and still have a tendency to lean toward just being with the people that I already know and love. I guess that I have been forced to move out of my comfort zone lately and so I really shouldn’t be frustrated that others still have theirs to lean on. I suppose that I am jealous that they still have that security in their life. However I am also learning that I have more to be grateful for than I could have ever imagined.

I am finding that it is a blessing to be comfortable enough with myself that I don’t mind being alone most of the time. Weird to think of that as a blessing, but I have been witnessing around me people that don’t know how or can’t handle any time alone and it is a deeply painful part of their life. Although I don’t always like being alone and sometimes I hate being alone, it doesn’t cause me pain and anxiety.....for the most part.

Discovery is an incredibly powerful tool. I am learning to let go. I am learning that no matter how much I want something, most of the time it is not mine to claim and that I will be okay even if I don’t get it. I am learning that I have a whole spectrum of talents that make me a better person. I am learning to look at myself as my Father does both on the inside and the outside. I am learning more than ever to hold my head high and walk with confidence in my step because no matter what, I know that there is always some One who will always love me.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Bathroom breaks made difficult!

On top of everything else that is going wrong at work, the bathrooms decided to join the frustration. Honestly! The first and third floor bathrooms are out of commission due to some remodeling. We are supposed to use the second floor bathrooms, but they decided to flood over and have been off limits. So it is a hike up to the fourth floor doing a bit of a dance at this point. This floor is found only to have one out of the three toilet working and that is in use. Back out the door and up to the fifth floor where one stall is out of toilet paper, but the other two are operating and not in use. Tomorrow it will be either straight to the elevators or just using the holes left in the ground on the first floor where the toilets used to be!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Turning that frown upside down

I am never past learning. I have to come to the understanding that I am allowing myself to be miserable and in the course, I am losing some around me that I can’t imagine not having involved in my life. I have this ability to be incredibly happy for others. No matter how I feel inside. No matter what is or isn’t happening in my life, I get excited to the point that people will call to talk to me just because they know that I will share in their joy and excitement and truly mean it. I find that I can’t do it with particular people. For it, I feel like I am letting them down and I have found myself in tears after the phone call is disconnected. I want to be happy for them. I want to squeal in excitement with them. I want them to find that which makes brings them joy. It is my own personal issue about being left out of their life. It is me being completely selfish.

My new goal is to fake it till I make it. No matter how hard it is, I am going to be the strength of support like I am for everyone else. It is only fair.

Anyway I have things to make me happy……my Ute football season tickets came in the mail today. Who says that you can’t buy love?!

Friday, August 17, 2007

I feel the need.

Recently David Cho posted an article by the AP titled New Seminary Subject: Homemaking (if interested, you can read the article in the Washington Post dated August 9, 2007). As I knew it would, it caused a lot of people’s blood to boil. I was going to post this as a comment, but realized that it would be too much for a comment and decided to post my stance on the subject. So David, forgive me for using your idea but remember that imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Let me begin by stating that I am a strong, educated, independent woman. I will continue my education throughout the rest of my life as I believe that every person should regardless of their race, sex, creed, nationality, religion, marital status or age. I have lived my life pursuing the things that not only make me happy, but that take care of my wants and needs in this world. I have not stopped to ask if it were possible or if I would be allowed, in anything that I have set out to accomplish. To me, anything is possible with hard work and persistence.

A little of my family background may shed some light on why I believe so strongly concerning the above mentioned items. Growing up there was little to no money. My parents made the best with what they were able to obtain and made some great sacrifices in the name of their family. We lived in some interesting places in order to have a roof over our heads (in essence, I grew up most of my life living in the college dormitories because my parents worked as the resident managers which provided us a free place to live). My dad was a truck driver and my mom worked as a secretary over housing at the college so she was across the sidewalk from us when we got home from school.

My mom started slowly taking college courses (because they were free since she worked there) and by the time that I was ready to graduate with my associates degree so was she and my older sister. All three of us walked together. All three of us moved on and up and each earned a bachelors degree. I move on obtaining licenses in other fields and both my mom and sister moved forward in obtaining their masters degrees along with licenses in their fields. My mom has far more education than my dad. My mom makes more money than my dad. My sister has far more education than her husband and makes more money than him also. Actually looking at it, all my sisters are older, more educated and make more money than their husbands. However, that is not the point, I am only setting up a point that I believe in women and their abilities to succeed in a “man’s world”. I truly believe that women are capable and most of the time, more equipped to succeed.

With all of that said……

There is no better or defining place for a woman to succeed than at home with her children. There is nothing as rewarding or as challenging for a woman to choose than to be with her children in the home day in and day out.

Now do I believe in living in the 1950’s era? Absolutely not! I think that men should do their fair share at home. I had a spectacular dad that would come home from work, we would all sit and eat dinner together that mom had cooked and then Dad would do the dishes. He is lovingly nicknamed the dishwasher at our home. Nobody else is allowed to do them. He would then take us outside and run us ragged, bring us in and get us cleaned up and then read to us before putting us to bed. Mom would spend this time gardening and having some down time from all of us. He never stopped at this however. He also cleans and cooks and pitches in wherever there is a need. It takes two to make the children, it takes two to raise them and make a family.

I grew up knowing that I had the whole world of opportunities in front of me that were and are open and available. I have made a good life for myself and have had great success in this “man’s world”. What do I want? What do I feel would challenge me to greater and new heights? What do I know would be the most rewarding career to pursue? What do I know would make me a better, more caring individual? What do I feel would make me the happiest in this life? It would consist of being a wife and a mom….a mom that stays at home and sees to the day to day needs of her family.

Does this make me less of a woman as this world tries to argue? Absolutely not! I would argue that anyone can make it in the work force. Anyone can go in and put in an 8, 12, 15 hour day. It is more demanding to put yourself into a 24-7 career that demands your full attention to be the teacher, doctor, master chief, carpet cleaner, hazardous material remover, playground, imagination sparkler, referee, WWF superstar, artist, coach, cheerleader, best friend….mom.

Could men do this? Sure. I have seen dads that have been all of this and I applaud them for the wonderful things that they do. I think that everyone, regardless of their sex should know how to do the day to day tasks of cleaning, cooking and all involved to navigate life. However, I know that there is gift which is given to women to care and nurture the family. Nobody can replace a mom in a home. For those who think that this is gender inequality, I would have to agree.....men should feel completely discriminated against.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The United States: World Tour

A Story told by JRA and Jeje:

We met up in New York on Saturday morning only to compare stories of our beginning adventures without each other.

JRA: I caught a red-eye flight Friday night that should have left at midnight only to be delayed for 45 minutes by some idiot wearing a BYU shirt that didn’t have the correct paperwork to fly out. Once we finally left, I was excited to experience first class en route to NYC (thank you, frequent flier miles), and to sleep for the entire 4 hour flight in comfort. The pilot would have none of that on his plane, however. If he didn’t get to sleep, nobody did. He decided to use the evils of the intercom to announce every single time we were to hit turbulence – and we hit it a lot. Now, I probably could have slept through the turbulence, however, the intercom at a screeching volume in my ear was impossible. I arrived in NYC an hour late, with only one hour of sleep, ready to drive 34 hours with Jeje. Of course I had to be picked up at the airport by a weird boy that I didn’t even know.

Jeje: Amazing the things JRA is willing to do after only an hour of sleep – she didn’t even check with my friend Brett to see if he knew who I was or who she was. She didn’t even ask if he knew the password for strangers picking her up after school (did your mother teach you nothing?) She just climbed in his car. At this point, I was at my friend’s home in NJ waiting for her after a 7 hour drive the day before that should have only taken 4. I think I hit a traffic jam in every possible town between Cambridge and Jersey. And it was raining. I think Boston was crying because I was leaving. I’m a little sad too. I miss you all. Anyway, I was so tired that I took my friend, Brett, up on his offer to pick JRA up at the airport the next morning. He’s a lifesaver.

JRA & Jeje: We really don’t remember what we did that first morning. Truthfully, neither of us slept much the night before. We vaguely remember driving through Jersey and Pennsylvania. We do, however, have definite recollection of Ohio. We veered off of the 80 to make a side stop in the wonderful town of Kirtland. We first went to the LDS sites, but after using their bathroom and the temple soap, we immediately left and went to the Community of Christ sites. We really wanted to see the Kirtland temple, and time was running short. Sigh. It was amazing. We didn’t realize how strong we would feel the Spirit in a building that is no longer dedicated. But, after discussing for a while realized it was because of the sacred things that had happened there. It was an incredible experience and we were glad for the detour.

When we left Kirtland, JRA quickly relearned how to drive stick (you have to put the clutch in to start the engine, honey), and we were on our way again. We figured we’d go another 300 miles that night. Little did we know . . . after passing through the bog of eternal stench (that was rancid!), we found ourselves 6 miles away from the Ohio/Indiana boarder, with still 150 more miles to go at 9 pm, and at 11:30 we’d completed those six miles. If you had a Fed Ex box on it’s way west, I don’t think it’s comin. That was a huge accident. But don’t worry, Ohio still collected its tolls at the toll both 1/10th of a mile after the accident, causing bigger delays in traffic than there already were. We went another 30 miles post-accident before finding a place to stay in Indiana. If we’d had a map, instead of just directions we might have . . . no, we still would have been in the same position.

JRA: I wanted to pull over and go to sleep since I had only had an hour worth of sleep that day, and Jeje wanted to keep going. I insisted on pulling over and since I was driving, I won. When we got to the hotel, Jeje got out of the car to go get a room for us. Upon arriving back at the car, I thought she was dead. Sleep deprivation had caught up with her, all at once. We went to bed. Hard.

Jeje: Actually, I didn’t get much sleep, but I got enough to make it through our 17-hour day on Sunday.

JRA & Jeje: Sunday was a fairly uneventful day. Indiana, Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska. We didn’t get the chance to go to church cause we’re both heathens and slackers (thanks, Mike). But, the weather was nice, and we hit no traffic. We also heard a lot of MoTab, listened to some church talks (Matthew Cowley is a funny man), and had a reoccurance of the bog of eternal stench (as if it wasn’t bad enough the first time. Smelly cows). Though we did see over 10 cars (including a semi) pulled over on the side of the highway in Nebraska with no occupants. I think they got stuck in Nebraska. Forever. Poor fools. We’re just glad we got out. Not even the people in Nebraska really want to live in Nebraska. Maybe that’s why they name all their towns after world cities and places in the U.S. We drove through Sydney, several cities from England, Buffalo, Brooklyn, Bethlehem and many others. It was our world tour. All in Nebraska. We arrived in Laramie, WY at about 10 pm, MST and crashed. Again.

This morning, we got up, ate breakfast, turned in our keys and went to get gas. At the gas station, Jeje realized her wallet was missing. So we scoured the car and then headed back to the hotel. It’s gone. Probably in Nebraska. Now, not only does she have no job, she has no identity or access to her money. Sad.

We currently find ourselves in the desolate land of Wyoming. We really don’t mind the vultures overhead. We know there are pretty parts of the state, but I don’t think they’re along I-80. Although Evanston is. We may be bringing back fireworks.

We plan to arrive in Utah by mid-afternoon. Overall, it’s been a good trip. We’ve laughed til tears came streaming down our faces, and we think we’re still friends even after all those hours in a car together. It’s been fun.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Well wish me luck and say a lot of prayers.....

Tonight at midnight my flight leaves headed to New York. At 6:30 in the morning Eastern Standard time I will get into a car with our friend Jeje and we will start an adventurous drive across the United States. From New York to Salt Lake City in three days with one stop in Kirkland to take in the church history sites and no stops in Nebraska for fear of getting stuck and having to be waitresses in greasy truck stops and not being a huge fan of super long road trips.....I am going to need every prayer offered. :)

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Some days are hard. Some days are down right miserable!

I just want to curl up in my bed and not think about today and not have to face any of it tomorrow either. If only either was an option.


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