Just Rannin' Around

Saturday, January 24, 2009

“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys.” –Eliza Tabor

Friday, January 16, 2009

Calm before the storm

I didn’t get into work until 9:30 this morning. No I didn’t sleep in. Actually I was up at 6:00 this morning and into the car shop an hour later as they opened. One of the dreaded tasks that I have to be responsible for is the up keep on my vehicle. I will admit that this is one responsibility on my list that I fall very short on seeing that it gets done. Well let’s just say that the car was due for an appointment back in November and I just forced myself (or rather the car forced me by turning on the “change engine oil” AND the “service engine soon” lights on the panel yesterday) to take it in this morning. There are several reasons that I absolutely hate dealing with this seemingly easy responsibility, but that is another blog in and of itself.

Anyway, after being literally overworked the last month, it has been a shock to my system that I have had so much down time at work this week. They can’t fool me though. I know what is in the pipeline pushing its way down and it is uglier to me than a cat attempting to dislodge a hairball. Don’t get me wrong, it is such a blessing to have work to do and a paycheck to actually collect, but I still will never understand the reason why it all has to hit within the last week and a half of the month. There are better ways that it could be handled but I have come to the conclusion that procrastination is a part of human nature that is suffered by almost everyone in this industry. That or they really are trying to kill me, I haven’t figured out which one it is yet.

I have been attempting to mentally prepare myself for working 16 hour days again probably beginning on Wednesday. I still haven’t found a way to completely prepare myself for that though. I guess it is a good thing that I have Monday off to center myself and get enough sleep to help me slide through the rest of the month. It is probably also a good thing to be that busy, but doing math for 16 straight hours is a bit scary. After about the thirteenth hour the brain begins to make up creative ways to do math and it takes a lot of concentration to make sure that I don’t make 589,838.57 – 573,734.10 = 2. Okay, okay so it might not be THAT bad, but it feels like it in the moment.

Honestly I think that I might just finally be getting to the point of pure burnout. I am currently looking at two fabulous business plans. If I had my way, I would get in and get both businesses off the ground within a year and be finished with my current employment and be working for myself. Reality tells me that it will probably be closer to a three year goal since I will have to continue to work full time until I can get them off the floor and really producing. After working in corporate America since the age of 15, I am extremely excited about the opportunities that have been placed so timely into my life. I still have some additional research to do, but after Saturday I should have all I need to start one and the other one is something that I have always known that I have wanted to do and the right opportunity is just now available.

One huge blessing in my life is that I have always been able to financially take care of myself. I am hoping that these opportunities will just open that up some more so that I can also begin doing one or more humanitarian missions each year. I have already been in contact with several non-profit organizations that travel all over the world to serve. I am thoroughly giddy about this prospect. It is something that I have always had the desire to be involved in, but haven’t had the time and funds to be as involved as I would like to be. I am beginning to see the vision becoming clearer. It is definitely a push to work harder to be able to obtain that goal.

For now I have so much planned and more on the horizon. I am going to finally stop promising and actually go out and spend some time with Travis, Jamie and Thomas in New Hampshire at the end of April. Work may actually fire me because I am leaving so much in the first six months of this year! Little do they know that I am inquiring about a humanitarian project happening in Kenya this summer and could also possibly be leaving for that adventure if all works out and they need additional helping hands.

All of this has been in the works for a little over a year now with the exception of the newest business opportunity which was presented to me at the beginning of December. I was so disappointed when again I received the answer that moving still wasn’t right for me. With everything that is currently happening, I now see why moving wasn’t the best option for me. There are a lot of big dreams involved and I will either thrive or I will fail miserably (which is why I kept all of this to myself). I believe that it is worth the risk.

Nobody wants to do things that are so scary by themselves, but it is time to put on my big girl pants and make sure that I am taken care of and happy.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

It is always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. . .

I attend an institute class on Tuesday nights. This is not the typical institute class that would automatically come to mind. It is a class that is specifically for single adults between the ages of 25-35 and there are usually about 300-400 in attendance.

I was a little surprised last night when the teacher approached me before class and said, “It is always nice to see your familiar face here.” I followed up with, “thank you” and expected the conversation to end since I figured he was just being polite. He then looked at me with that look that showed he was concerned and didn’t quite understand something. I don’t know if anyone knows what I am talking about but it always means either the dreaded question is about to be asked or there are certain comments on the way. I can usually guess which one and I immediately prepared myself for it. It didn’t come. He must have decided against it because the look left his face, we chatted for a minute and he was off to start class.

If I am honest, he has not been one of my favorite teachers. Of course I was spoiled for years with Michael Wilcox being the teacher of this class so I do have to take that into account and not be so hard on him. However I was extremely excited when I found out what he would be teaching this semester. I don’t think that I will be disappointed either. The class for the entire semester is fully devoted to the Atonement. This is a topic that I always desire to gain more knowledge and which I never have felt that I have been able to fully grasp. I know only a very tiny portion of how the Atonement applies and works. It will be a great opportunity to be able have it opened a bit more to my understanding.

Last night was just a taste of what to expect from the rest of the semester and that being the case, I had better come more prepared. A box of Kleenex will probably be needed since I spent the majority of the class attempting to hold back the tears. The Spirit was intense. Everyone should take a class on the Atonement given the opportunity. Elder Holland has stated that everything in the gospel ties back to the Atonement.

This will probably be the last time that I will be in institute. I have thought about it and since I turn 35 next year and the semesters typically tie into each other, I don’t really want to take the first half of a class and not get to attend the second half. I am a little sad about that, but I am thinking that I will probably look at working in the temple on Tuesday nights in place of attending institute. I guess I shall just have to see. I am actually not certain that with my calling they will allow me to work at the temple too.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I think from now on I am going to skip the second week in January!

It doesn’t seem to be a good week for me. For the past two years on almost the exact same day I was taken outside and thrown in the garbage. I need to learn how to get off the same list that the Christmas tree appears for the New Year.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

I looked up and realized that I have dug myself into my own grave. I know it was me because the shovel is still in my hands.

New Year’s was a blast! I don’t think that I have ever attended a more exciting football game in my life. Go Utes!! I played in a rainstorm like I was still six-years old again and walked into the hotel soaked to the bone, but couldn’t have been happier. Although New Orleans will never be somewhere that I ever have the desire to go again or would suggest that others go, I did enjoy getting away.

Since it is the New Year I figured that it is a good time to break down how the goals went for the last year and set some new ones for this year. I won’t share everything, but I will share a bit.

2008 Goals and how I did . . . .

-Read the Book of Mormon. I actually read it cover to cover four times.

-Attend the Temple once a week. I missed exactly four weeks due to some unforeseen circumstances, but I stayed and did extra work the weeks after I missed in order to make up for it a little. I also was able to do work in four more temples that I haven’t previously.

-Read at least one book a month. I ended up averaging a little over 5 books a month.

-Visit at least one new place I haven’t been before. In reality this probably shouldn’t be a goal, but let’s just say it ended up being more than one new place.

-Gain three new clients at work. This one I struggled with quite a bit and only ended up with two new clients. However I am still working on some good prospects and I should be able to double that within the next three or four months.

-Get asked out on at least one non-blind date. Failed miserably.

That is just a taste of what I was working on last year.

As for this year, well many things have changed but the ironic part is that nothing has changed. I already have a speaking assignment the third weekend in January for Sacrament Meeting in my ward. Ward Conferences are in February and so I will be teaching each week in different wards. My March is almost completely full. The first week I will be in California. The second weekend I will be in Texas at a wedding and spending time with some friends. The third weekend I will be in Moab and will turn 34 while there. I have tickets for plays, sporting events and flights. I have running to do. I will continue on the goals that I had for last year, which have been carried on from years past and adding new goals where I need the greatest growth and improvement. I make myself tired looking at my schedule most of the time and yet....

I feel empty and alone. What goals am I supposed to set to fix that?!


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