Just Rannin' Around

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication.  They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others.  Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships.”

I know that I have used this quote before on my blog.  It is a quote that I was given in a difficult time in my life by someone that I care for immensely.  It is a quote that I keep in an area that practically forces me to read it at least once almost every single day.  It is a reminder to me of several things, but it also keeps me honest with myself and others.

Keeping with the lines of honesty, I will openly admit that this has been, by far, the hardest year that I have ever experienced . . . emotionally, physically, and yes even spiritually.  Don’t worry, I will not share the gruesome details.  I do know that I have been allowing Satan to use me as his proverbial punching bag for his daily exercise for far too long. 

Accepting that some things are going to take more time and are completely out of my control is the first step.  Patience.  I always assumed that if there was pure knowledge concerning something happening that it would make the waiting so much easier.  I will now confirm that what we all know about assuming is true.  Knowing does not equal patience and it may even make it more difficult.

With a brand new year within sight, I am going to start it with a brand new attitude.  I believe that it starts with faith and trust.  I need to hold onto the personal revelation that has been given to me.  I have been given some incredible promises.  God does not lie.  The Spirit speaks the truth as it is and as it will be.  Satan’s knock out with doubt will no longer work.  Just because I don’t understand how or when God will fulfill His promises, doesn’t mean that He won’t.  It may seem impossible to me, but with God nothing is impossible.  He who knows beginning to end would never set me up for failure.

I am concocting some goals that will probably show up later.

Have a very happy New Year!

Monday, December 20, 2010

“I am a world-class chicken when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.”

I have decided that within the next few months I really need to have a Will drawn up. It is one more step of adulthood that finally needs to be completed. Not that I expect to die anytime soon, but I think that it is unfair of me to leave things to a guessing game if anything were to happen to me. There are some items that I definitely want to go to specific individuals and nobody would know that unless I spell it out. I know it sounds ridiculous, but those items only belong in certain hands because they have specific, invaluable meaning to me.

This has all been churning over in my head for a while now and I have even written it down a time or two trying to get all of the calculations set out to see exactly what would go where. Accounting for taxes is my least favorite part. It is hard to swallow that I have already paid taxes on everything that I have acquired and yet there will be more taxes levied just because I died. It just doesn’t seem right.

Does this all seem morbid? Well it feels that way while I plot it out in my head too. Ah, but it needs to be done, the whole part of life thing and being a responsible adult. Blah! However it is the only chance for it to be done the way that I want it and oh how I do like to be in control.

This has actually been in the works for years now. A friend always told me that I needed one done. I knew he was right but it felt like doing one would make it too much of a reality to me. It scares me a little to plan for such an event. Being in the business I am in though, I know it is better to be safe because the alternative is not fun or inexpensive for those left behind to clean up the mess.

Since I have already made some major decisions about illness, I really need to have it in writing. For if I am not able to speak for myself, I don’t want anyone else to have to make those decisions for me and feel accountable for them.

So if anyone wants anything that I have, let me know now.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers

I think that at one point in everyone’s life, they find a talent that another possesses that they themselves would like to obtain. I am the queen of admiring the talents of others. If I had the time and monetary means, I would spend this lifetime attempting to develop all the talents that I desire to claim as my own. With that said, there is one particular talent that reigns high above the rest on my list . . . that is the talent of singing.

There is something so spectacular about being swept away in the beauty of a well-developed voice. It can be breathtaking and awe inspiring. It has the ability to transport one to another time, another place. It communicates every emotion.

I will just admit here that I find a man that was blessed with the talent to sing pretty much irresistible. It definitely pushes him up in the attractiveness scale. Anyway . . .

I have been glued to my television for the last week and a half sucked in by The Sing Off. I am extremely impressed with the talent on this show. Although I do know others that would give them a run for their money, they are truly amazing and I love to sit and soak in every minute. Honestly turn on the television Wednesday night to NBC at 8:00 and be ready to revel in astounding talent.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

“I fought you every step of the way.”  
“Yes, but you did it.”

This is a conversation that I can see myself having with God.  Actually if I am truthful, the top line is something that I have become masterful at swallowing down as I make the admittance once again.  We will just leave it that the bottom line doesn’t always follow as often as I would like it to.

I have been trying my very best not to fight you on this one, but my best may not be good enough.  As time keeps on passing I find myself doubting and wanting to fight.


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