Just Rannin' Around

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Moving Scenes

I work in an office that faces east. Those from the greater Salt Lake area realize that this means that I have a view of the Wasatch Mountains. In between my busyness, I have noticed the different views throughout the day. All day however, they have looked as if they were painted as a backdrop....surreal. It was a changing backdrop, with each scene daring the onlooker to not notice the beauty and uniqueness. As I have contemplated it, I thought to the season changes and how that also creates its own flare to my backdrop.

Life is much the same way. It can be surreal. Walking through your own life at times seems as if you truly aren’t a part of it. The scenes change and with change brings it own beauty and uniqueness. I am just trying to not make it an afterthought, but rather to enjoy the moment before the sun moves from the current position and adjusts the picture being viewed.

Monday, June 27, 2005

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” - Psalms 30:5

Yesterday my emotions were close to the surface….too close to the surface. I am extremely soft and mushy on the inside, my put on rough exterior is only to protect me. Protect me from what? Being hurt. I won’t get into all the details as it would bore most of you to tears of your own, but we will just say that the wounds have been deep and very memorable. Having a rough exterior is a complete conflict with my natural want to love and trust. So it doesn’t take one long to break past the rough exterior if only a little time is taken. Anyway…..

I had a complete melt down in Relief Society. I shed tears when a sweet friend caught me after church in the gym and knew something wasn’t right and threw his arms around me. I left a pool of tears in my lap when a member of the Bishopric laid his hands on my head and gave me the most perfect priesthood blessing. How sweet are the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father!!

Sure everything isn’t all better, but the furnace is there to increase our strength and it has to burn in order to get rid of the imperfections. The blessings that were uncovered through my day were that I have an enormous circle of people that sincerely love and care about me. I felt the love of the Savior encircle me through the arms of my friends. I know that I am on the path that I am supposed to be following and one day someone will be grateful to have me in his life.

Friday, June 24, 2005


This has been a test of the emergency blogsphere. Had this been an actually emergency this would have been followed by ranting and ravings.

Stay tuned to this station for a longer posting coming to you in the near future.

Have a happy day!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Power Outage

With current weather patterns today in the great state of Utah, I am hoping for a power outage. No power means all new adventures. If you have even a small imagination, the ideas are endless! Some things are just better when the power is out....you know the same, ‘cept funner!!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Puzzles the mind

Situation #1: My cell phone decided to stop working late Thursday night, so I have been without since then. It amazes me how attached to it I really am. It has been driving me crazy not knowing if anyone has been trying to text message or call me. I call Verizon first thing this morning to see about switching my service over to them. Of course they were happy to help. So for the next little while I will actually have two cell phone numbers. I am under contract with another awful company until the 28th of this month and then I can port my number over to Verizon and I can carry on with life as usual. For now, I should have my new cell phone tomorrow and I will just be having all my calls forwarded to my new cell number. What a mess!! How in the world did we ever live without cell phones?

Situation #2: Rubik’s Cube. If I am working on solving it, I will not cheat by taking off the stickers and replacing them to make it look like I am doing better than I really am. Although I have never been able to completely solve that game, I am still trying. I also realize that there are people that are amazing at solving the Rubik’s Cube. It is these people that will pick it up, regardless if they know someone else is in the middle of solving it, and take over the game. I guess that I am just too slow. The other problem is once someone else even looks at the Rubik’s Cube, I hand it to them. I know that I won’t win anyway because it just isn’t a game that I have even come close to mastering. I can get two sides completed and then I don’t know what to do from there. Why are some people so skilled, others just willing to not stop trying and some of us just not able to solve it?

Situation #3: Some people just don’t have driving skills. The last few days I have encountered some incredibly stupid people behind the wheel of a car. This is my favorite however. I was driving to work on Friday with my music up and singing at the top of my lungs. I was about a car length behind the car in front of me and there was absolutely nobody within sight behind me. There was a car two lanes to the right of us and an empty lane on the left of us. Honestly, we were the only three cars for a good distance on a four lane highway. Well the car that was two, yes I did say two, lanes to the right of us pulled not only into the next lane, but cut me off to get into the lane in which I was driving. So now he was driving in between the two of us with me nearly on his bumper and trying to slow down safely. I pulled over one lane to the right wondering why he HAD to be in the only lane that was occupied and so quickly as to not wait until I had passed since there were no other cars. When I got up to the side of him, I glanced over and realized that he was too busy talking on his cell phone to even notice the stupid maneuver that he had just successfully pulled off. All the lack of driving skills had to do with said drivers not being talented enough to talk on their cell phones and drive at the same time. If you can’t chew gum and walk at the same time, why would you try to talk on your phone and drive at the same time?

Friday, June 17, 2005

Sometimes it should be


when it comes to how much you


being in the company of somebody.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

What is the greatest lesson that you have learned up to this point in your life?

I have recently spent a lot of time contemplating this very question. I learn and am taught so many wonderful truths on a daily basis, that how do you choose just one? Although I think that the answer to this question is a very personal one, I have decided that my answer to this question is as follows:

I am a daughter of Heavenly Parents, which blesses me with divine nature!

From this one truth, my soul is raised to a higher plane. Because I know from where I came and who I am, I also know who the person sitting next to me on the bus is and how they should be treated. Thus the lesson of the golden rule becomes so much more important. Because I know this, I know why I am in this earthly existence and I am more willing to forgive others of mistakes. I know of the Atonement of the Son of God and that a loving Heavenly Father sent Him here to enable the rest of His children to return to live throughout the eternities with Them. My purpose is clear. I know why I am here. I know who I am. I know what comes next.

I think that all truth eternally connects to the knowledge of who we are. Whether it is secular, spiritual, emotional or physical, I believe that learning occurs at a higher plane and is grasped with greater comprehension when we realize that this is what we will be allowed to take with us when we pass through the veil and into the waiting arms of the Lord. He paid the price for us with His life. Why? Because we are eternally a family and He was doing His Father’s will and that is to bring to pass the eternal life and immortality of His children. He did it because He loves us.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

One more thing completed.

“Are you comfortable?” he asks

What do you mean am I comfortable? I am 11,000 feet in the air in a flying gas tank, attached so close to a man that I have know for less than 30 minutes that I can feel his heart beat and my eyelashes are so long that they are smashed up against the goggles that it makes blinking impossible. Other than that I am extremely comfortable.

“Yep, I am great. Let’s get this show started.” I replied

“Okay, right foot. Good. Left foot. Good.”

“So you come here often?” I totally interrupt his scripted routine.

After a brief laugh, for time was essential, he continued. “Ready.....Set.....Bellybutton, GO!”

Off the ledge of the plane we went falling at a rate of about a mile a minute. After turning, I met the camera man who just happened to be right in my face. “Morning sunshine”, was my thought, but falling that quickly didn’t allow for any sarcastic remarks. I made the mistake of laughing and caught a mouthful of air and ended up having a coughing fit.

At that moment our parachute opened and I went from falling in a horizontal position to floating vertically towards the quickly approaching ground. He placed my hands into the ropes that controlled where the our direction and speed, took his hands out and promptly informed me that I seemed to be under control so he was going to take a nap and I was in charge of landing. I said okay but I wouldn’t be responsible for any damage that he might sustain during the landing due to his laziness.

As I sat on the ground (for they made us land on our bottoms), a quick assessment calculated in my brain. It was a great experience, but really didn’t thrill me all that much. I would rather scuba dive over skydive hands down. I made the mistake of telling my skydiving team that when they asked if I would ever do it again. They were sorely disappointed, but I asked and none of them had ever been scuba diving, so I told them that I had the most educated opinion.

I thought a lot about why this activity that I have wanted to do for so long was not as thrilling as I dreamed it would be. The reasons were many, but the biggest ones were that I was not at all scared or even got a butterfly of excitement in my tummy the entire time and for the money that I paid there wasn’t enough time to enjoy (well for example, I pay $70 to scuba dive which includes all my equipment and 2 dives, each dive lasting around 40-45 minutes. The skydive cost $250 which included equipment, but only lasted between 3-4 minutes).

So check off the skydive excursion on my list of things to do before I die, but I have decided that it will probably be an adventure that I don’t have to do more than once.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Evil Devil!!

Have you ever felt like every time you turn around you get hit in the face with a 2 x 4? Where you think if you bury yourself deep enough in your covers on your bed and stay there that it will hide you and keep you safe? Then all of the sudden, wham, and you have to move quickly to grab a towel before blood gushes from your newly broken nose all over your white sheets. Then the realization that the bed is probably the worse place to hide because the covers mold to your body and anything can scope out the fact that you are there. Reality sets in and there is the fact staring you straight in the face.....there is no hiding, you have to deal with it head on.

Satan is a dirty little bugger. His blows are always at your weakest points and they come in succession. I don’t know why I have been the target as of late, but I have about had it. I think the most frustrating point is that he knows that he isn’t going to win. I know for what team I am playing. I know my position and I will continue to line up blow after blow because I know who wins in the end. I realize that he knows the ending also and is trying to get in and make it as painful as possible while the opportunity is present. Of course I think in my case he knows that he won’t win, but that he can weaken me. Like on Sunday I was discouraged enough that I really didn’t want to attend church. I honestly wanted to stay in my bed. I wanted to avoid everything. It didn’t work, although it took everything I had to roll out of bed, I was at all my meetings and walked away strengthened and grateful that I had attended.

Tape me up and put me in!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Family and Friends

Recently my focus has been turned to two wonderful groups of people who affect my life more than they will ever realize. I don’t know if this has been due to the changes that I have made in my own life, my study of the Atonement in the scriptures these last few weeks, or sentiments are just running high.

My family means the world to me. I would stop at nothing to protect them. This is where I feel safe, loved and not judged. This year has been full of trauma in the family realm. January my younger brother’s home got washed away down the river in the flood in Southern Utah. February my mom ended up in the hospital and had to have open heart surgery. March my niece had to go in for eye surgery. April another niece had to go in to have plugs put in her eyes. May we had a break and nothing big occurred. June has already had a huge issue and my younger sister’s life has been shaken and turned.

These events have brought with them tears, stress, hurt and concern. I am amazed however at the majestic blessing which have been ever present. Our family has really pulled together and become closer. We have laughed harder (humor is used as a dealing tactic....everything is funny) and learned to lean more on one another. We have been watched over and protected. I have seen some come back to the gospel and start setting their lives in order. Prayers are being said. The most important miracle that has come however, is that everything has had a happy conclusion. I love my family and I am grateful to know that I will have them forever. I can’t imagine ever having to be without them. Dearest family, I love you!

My friends have taken on new meaning in my life as of late. The winds of change are blowing again. I feel them and they are gradually becoming stronger. There are things that I know are going to happen, some that I have a good guess and some that are just a feeling. Friends are always coming and going. Some have a greater impact than others, but all have touched my life in one way or another.

I love my friends and I don’t think that know just how much. That is my fault and I am sorry that I don’t let them know enough. I depend on my friends for hugs, talks, understanding, laughs, entertainment and sharing tears. I love that I have friends who will call me in the middle of the night because their hearts hurt or because something exciting happened. I love that they will call me just because and they really have nothing to say, they just wanted to hear my voice. I love that they stop by my house with ice cream or when they just need a hug or a smile. I love that they trust me with their deepest secrets in their hearts. I love that they will discuss the gospel in depth with me. I love that they seek my advice. I love that they think I only listen to Mo Tab. I love that they tease me and tickle me and swing on the swings with me. I love that they play with my hair. I love them for the people that they individually are and the work they are doing to become the person that they want to be. I love that they let me act like I am 6 with 24 years of experience. I could go on forever! I have so many people that have carved their own special place in my heart. I am extremely blessed.

I just want all to know (even my newest friends from the blogging world whom I have never met) that I appreciate all the positives that you bring into my life in a world full of just the opposite. I am a stronger, better person because of your examples and kind words. Please know that you are loved! Life wouldn’t be the same without each one of you in my life.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Pardon the long absence.

Please excuse JRA for not posting for a week. She has been out of town and then work has been crazy while she has tried to catch everything up and clean the messes that occurred. Hopefully she will be back to regularly posting as of tomorrow.

JRA’s mom


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