Typically emotional throw up is not something that spews from my mouth or in this case from my fingers, so forgive me while I vent for a moment…it will be brief.
I am a confident individual. I know what I believe and, although I am far from being perfect in anything, I strive everyday to better myself. I, like most, have had to fight for everything that I have. Nothing has been handed to me. I have better days than others, but for the most part I am comfortable with what I have accomplished in this crazy world including physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and socially.
There is one area in which I don’t know up from down, at least when it comes to my own life. Unfortunately because of a few different variables (ie living in Utah and still being single when I am older than 23), it is an area that is brought to my attention far more than I would have it be there. The statements and questions have been forthcoming since last week and accelerated this weekend. There is never any harm meant and I usually take it in stride as the rhetorical question is almost always quickly followed by several compliments, however I have never had to deal with it in such a concentrated time frame.
“Why aren’t you married?” in question form and “I just don’t understand why you aren’t married.” in statement form. Then it is always followed by, “you are so fun, intelligent, put together and beautiful.” To this I have learned to just shrug my shoulders and thank them for the nice words. I wish I had an answer. I don't. I received two doses of this on Saturday. Sunday was not any easier. Actually, it was around four hours of being hammered with people saying about the same thing and then walking away shaking their heads like I had some sort of disease that would cause a horrible death and they were unsure of how to comfort me. If it ended at this I wouldn’t have an issue, but it didn’t.
I have discovered through a few people that I am also hindering a friend and that is unacceptable to me and is probably the reason behind my frustration. There has been talk going around that there are quite a few men that are interested in her and yet they won’t ask her out because she hangs out with me. This causes them to think that she is like me, which must be horrible because it stops them from acting on their interest. I know that I have a strong personality. I know that I am independent. I know that I like to be in the middle of everything. I know, I know. I’m sorry, but don’t think that just because I am overbearing that the people that hang out with me are the same way. I have an idea. Have some guts and quit using me as an excuse!
Okay I’m done. Sorry, here is a towel to clean that up.