Just Rannin' Around

Friday, October 29, 2004

Everyone have a spectacular halloween weekend!!

What is it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck!!

What goes "ha-ha-ha-ha-......THUD?
A monster laughing his head off

Thursday, October 28, 2004

"Life is tough. However it is even tougher when you're stupid"
-John Wayne

Things are going way too quickly and I can't seem to keep up. Oh well, nothing that can be done expect run as fast as I can and let the man upstairs take care of the rest. I know what has to be done and I know how to do it, but sometimes I just don't have the time, energy or motivation to do it. If it doesn't get done, just remember that there is always tomorrow. You know, "the sun will come up tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun", or maybe not there has been an awful lot of clouds lately. For heaven sake, Vegas is flooding!

As long as I am doing everything that I can possibly do, there are promises that have to be kept. I know who I am. I know where I stand. I know why I continue to choose the things I choose. I know the promises that have been made to me. I know I will be given the strength to finish.

Even when I end up with avocado all over my shirt at lunch today because I was busy helping everyone else laugh and not paying attention to what I was doing and splattered it all over myself, not a worry. There is an Old Navy right across the street. Things go wrong. It can't be changed, but I have control over how I react. Today I ended up choking because I was laughing so hard at myself that I forgot to swallow.

Life is random. Enjoy!

Friday, October 22, 2004

I was recently reading on a friends site and she has a list of 13 things that every woman should do before she turns 30. Well, I went through the list and this is what I discovered.

1. Travel around Europe with a girlfriend.
I have been all around Italy and Australia with two different groups of girlfriends. Have yet to be all over Europe, but it is in the plans because I love to travel. It is an adicition that I have about learning about new places and adding to the experiences in my life.

2. Live in New York.
This is one that I won't accomplish by the time I am 30, however I have also visited here. Saw Les Mes on Broadway and walked around Time Square and Central Park.

3. Learn another language.
Spent two years in high school German and then received my Associates of Arts from Dixie College because I spent an additional year learning German. I understand it more than I speak it. I would actually love to live in Germany for a short period of time to see the sights and learn the language more efficiently.

4. Work at a profession you have no intention of making a career out of.
This is an easy one. I have actually done it twice. I was in the banking industry while I finished college. I worked my way up in the business ladder there and then came over to my current employement. Although I am successful here, this is in no way the career that I want to end up in.

5. Raise a puppy.
Done this. I come from a family that loves dogs. I actually own a dog that I choose after it was born and raised it. It is at my parents home and I have bascially given it to them because it is an inside dog and I don't want a dog inside my house.

6. Do a cross crountry road trip.
I have done this north-south, but not east-west. I have driven from Salt Lake to College Station, TX. It was a forever drive, but it was with my wonderfully crazy family and we had a blast!

7. Perfect 3 songs to play on the piano.
Unless you count "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"....okay it doesn't count. Playing the piano is actually on my list of things to do in my lifetime. One day I will know how to play the piano. I just need a house that I can fit a piano in and I will start lessons again.

8. Move somewhere where you know no one.
Haven't ever done this one except with my family from Salt Lake to St. George the summer before my 4th grade year. I have actually been considering do this however. Washington D.C., Chicago and Seattle have been my top three choices. I have considered Germany, but don't know if I am that brave.

9. Make a Christmas dinner that would impress your mother.
No problem here. I love to cook and my mom loves it when I cook. My brothers actually like my pot roast more than my mom's (it is okay she knows). I would love to have the time to cook a meal every night. Get a little creative and everyone is happy.

10. Open a savings account.
Already done.

11. Execute a huge act of forgiveness.
I can't stay mad at anyone. I can't fight for longer than 2.3 seconds. It just isn't worth the effort it takes to be angry and nothing good comes out of being bitter. I actually should turn this around and ask others if they are willing to execute huge acts of forgiveness on my behalf. I do some really dumb things that hurt people. Although I don't mean to I have a tendency to offend because I am so bold and blunt.

12. Fall madly, head over heels in love.
Done it. Best feeling I have ever had in my entire life and would never change that it happened and hope that I have the opportunity again.

13. Get your heart broken beyond repair and learn that you can survive it.
Has happened. Lessons that are learned are invaluable. Hurts like crazy, but it means that I allowed myself to be open enough to feel and that just doesn't happen very often.

It is all about learning as much as I can during my life. I love to travel and to read and to go to plays and to talk to people and to have pillow fights and to wrestle and to be with my family and to watch football and to mountain bike and to sing and to play in the rain and to kiss someone I love and to curl up in a blanket with hot chocolate on a porch swing during a storm and to cook and to jump on my bed and to play glow-in-the-dark dodge ball and to hug and to listen and to jump in puddles and to be with my nieces and nephews and to talk to my dad and to speak to a audience and to be with my friends and to cheer for success and to laugh and to smile and to love. This is just a small portion of me.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

"If you are always busy tending the roses, there is no way the thistles can grow."
Secret Garden

Focus. I have the choice. I choose flowers whether they be roses or daisies or lilacs or sunflowers or tulips. They all have the ability to grow.

I choose not to doubt. It will take time. It will take effort. It won't be easy and I won't always want to deal with it, but I will because it is worth it.

Beauty isn't without its own features. Roses have thorns. Daisies wilt easily. Lilacs only bloom for a short period of time. Sunflowers have to have light to live. Tulips bloom in Spring and have to be dug up before Summer. However, if you look close enough, those actually add to the beauty of the flower. It makes them different, not bad.

Each of us create our own gardens. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go sit in my garden. All are amazing flowers that I love.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Nothing like having a day where all your clients have their panties in a bunch. I have been ripping melvins out all day long. Honestly!!!

The best part of this day so far......the clock now reads 5:20 and I get to go home!

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I remember very clearly the experience of learning how to ride a bike for the first time.

I was fairly young because my family was still living in North Salt Lake. It was a beautiful summer day and I was tired of having those lame training wheels on my bike. They just slowed me down and I couldn't keep up with my older sister. I marched in my house, hands on my hips (probably a little dirt smugged on my face) and instructed my dad that it was time to come outside and help me take off those stupid baby wheels. I am sure that my dad had to surpress a laugh at the sight, but I was so serious that he just got up, took my hand and followed me outside.

In the driveway he put the bike upside down, picked up his screw driver and began the task at hand. While taking off the training wheels, he lovingly looked over at me and began to explain to me how exciting this new adventure would be and all that would be in store. I am sure that my eyes were a glow with anticipation because I could feel the energy build inside of me. Just imagining myself flying around corners and down hills and being as cool as the big kids.

Finishing, he placed the bike back upright, kneeled down so he was eye level and placed his hands on my shoulders. In the most caring voice he then expressed to me that there were also consenquences that came along with being a big kid and the first one was that we had to learn to ride without the training wheels. He told me that I had made the decision to go forward and to learn new things and he was so proud of me and was going to be right behind me every step of the way, even though sometimes I wouldn't know that he was there or even be able to see him. I trusted him and knew that he would never let me down.

So we walked out to the street and I climbed on the bike while my dad held the back of the seat to balance it. I placed my feet on the peddles and begin to make the wheels turn. Dad stayed true to his promise and jogged behind the bike holding the seat. I couldn't see him because he was behind me, but I knew he was there. Then I heard those words, "okay, are you ready for me to let go?" I shook my head in the affirmative thinking that I was so incredibly cool and could do anything on my own. I felt him let go and seconds later both the bike and I were no longer upright. Dad was right there. He picked me up and surveyed the damage.

"Ah, just a little skinned knee and a little road rash on the hands," he stated with a smile. He quickly kissed them better, picked the bike back up and placed me back onto the seat. Once again I could feel his strong hand take the back of the seat and I was comforted to know that he was going to be right there with me as I tried again. Off we went a little more down the road and then the words that struck fear into my heart, "okay, are you ready for me to let go?" Though this time he added, "remember that you are my brave girl and that you can do this and I will be right behind you." Confidence came back, if he knew that I could do it, then I knew I could do it. With tears running streaking down my face, I shook my head in affirmation and again felt the hand being removed. I went a little farther this time, but the ending was still a crash, this time a little worse because I was going a little faster.

I was once again in my dad's arms being held and loved and told that he was so proud of me. This happened a few more times before I finally went around entirely around the block and found my dad waiting with open arms and a smile only a dad can give a child when they have accomplished what was set out to be done. This time I used the breaks on the bike rather than my body to stop and jumped off and into his loving arms. It was a triumphal return to my home. My mom had been watching out the living room window and was there to greet me with many words of praise, a hug and the emergency kit.

I was sore. My hands had road rash. My elbows and knees were bleeding. I had a tear stained face from disappointment, frustration and pain (and was about to have more as the wounds were cleaned and bandaged). However, I had the satisfaction that I had accomplished and learned to do something new. I had the knowledge that would allow me to go back outside and continue to pratice and become even better and not do so many things wrong that caused me to fall.

Although I have years of practice riding a bike, there are still times that I crash. Roads are different and unexpected things occur that cause a loss of balance and down I go. The pain comes back, but I have to smile because I know that my dad is right behind me even though I can't always see him.

Monday, October 18, 2004

We are only 15 more days from the big election.....are you registered to vote? Hopefully, because it is too late for this go around if you aren't.

I hear the excuse all the time that we aren't a swing state so my one vote won't matter anyhow. Whether I vote or not, all 4 electoral votes that our wonderful state has to offer will go to Bush. Well what would happen if everyone turned an apathic check to this process?

I have to give in and agree that here we probably aren't going to be deciding the Presidential outcome anytime in the near future. I say great, let Florida look like the idioits that didn't seem to learn how to count or punch holes in cards for that matter, while still in grade school. Some decisions we just don't have any control over, but we can make sure that the 4 electoral votes that we do have get cast in the direction to which we would have them go. In this sense, every electoral vote adds one and does make a difference.

The biggest difference that we can make is in our state and local elections. First things first, know the issues!! A voter should know the difference between Proposition 3 and Initiative 1. You should also know the difference between candidates. You should know where they stand on issues such as education, waste storage, taxes, immigration, public lands, ect., ect., ect.,.... Voting without knowledge is almost as bad as not voting at all. There is published material that help all voters become aware of the issues and what the pro's and con's of so that they can make an educated decision. These decisions will effect what happens in your community. If you don't vote, you can't complain because you have choosen to not have a voice.

Now is the time to prepare to cast a knowledgeable vote. Pick up a information booklet at your local library or Post Office (well then you would also have to read it because putting it under your pillow and soaking it up by osmosis has yet to work for me, just sayin').

Friday, October 15, 2004

"It has always seemed to me, ever since early childhood, amid all the commonplaces of life, I was very near to a kingdom of ideal beauty. Between it and me hung only a thin veil. I could never draw it quite aside, but sometimes a wind fluttered it and I caught a glimpse of the enchanting realm beyond - only a glimpse - but those glimpses have always made life worthwhile."
-Lucy Maude Montogmery Anne of Green Gables

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Last week I was driving home from my institute class up at the University of Utah and pulled to a stop at a red light (most of us stop at red lights). As I was sitting waiting for the light to change so I could turn onto Redwood Road and finish my journey, I glanced over and noticed an older gentleman and two small girls walking down the street. My light turned green and I turned, but immediately flipped a u-turn and went to find this small family.

I finally found them when they were almost to the Post Office. I pulled up along the side of them and asked them if they needed a ride somewhere. It was late and I was soon to find out the girls were 2 and 4-years-old. The gentleman looked at me and I guess figured that I wasn't scary (that will be a lesson not to make decisions based on looks) and accepted the ride. He dropped some mail off and then put the little girls in the car and followed them in.

He directed me which turns to take while I had conversation with the two little girls. Their walk had taken them a good distance from their home. When we reached their house, I said good-bye as they piled out of my car and continued on my way. There is nothing really spectacular about this story. There is just something about helping people when you have the ability to do so that gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling.

(don't tell my dad that I picked people up off the street)

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

It is all about being 6 again.

I came home from work and Friday night and just didn't feel like me, so I decided to do something about it. I immediately stripped out of my work clothes and put on a pair of jeans and a form fitting tee-shirt. Dinner consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich, cut into four small triangles and chocolate milk.

I then pulled out all my art supplies and proceeded to color pictures with my crayons (the 64 pack that has its own sharpener). I had been putting off some friends who wanted me to play with them that night and decide that I need to go and make an appearance. And make an appearance I did. In my closet I have lot of fun things just in case I need them. Water balloons or silly string? Well it is kind of cold outside so I better be at least a little nice.

They were outside playing volleyball when a friend and I pulled up in my car. Out we ran with silly string in our hands, well it was in our hands for a while. It didn't take long for the guys to have me up in the air and then on the ground tackled and being tickled. After the silly string was all over us, we played volleyball and did cartwheels and hand stands. Then my friend and I were off. The group wasn't that happy that we were leaving after only spending an hour, but there was more 6-year-old things to do.

Off to Bountiful to deliver our pictures we had carefully colored. One visit that ran longer than we thought it would and then we hung the others on the front doors. It was great fun!! Then we stomped through the leaves and then decided it was getting to be time to head back home. We had to stop at Nielson's Frozen Custard since we were in Bountiful, it is a must. Whew, what more could we do. Ah, never doubt. Home we got and up to the beds to do a little practice on our jumping skills and then into our pj's. What is the last thing that happens before bedtime? Well a story of course. We read "The Frog Prince" and then a glass of water (to put bedtime off for another 2 minutes) and then went to our beds to dream.

Like I said, it is all about being 6 again!

Monday, October 11, 2004

Quietly he entered the room, not wanting to disrupt the game at hand. Although the room contained different players, it was familiar and comfortable to him. He took a seat in a dimly lit corner not really wanting to be noticed, still not sure he really wanted to be back.

He carefully examed the room. It was about the size of a regular classroom with carpet on the floor and bare walls that were painted a dirty brown. There was only one door through which one could come or go. In the center of the room stood a solitary table around which the players were seated, intent on the current game. Only one light was on and it hung from the ceiling directly above the table, illuminating the center of the room and casting shadows in which he was able to sit and observe.

The players were all distinctly different. Style of how they played, what they wore, how they interacted, moves they made, allowing each to be working toward their ultimate goal. Immediately he realized that a few players had been here playing for what seemed their entire life. They knew the rules and followed them exactly. They had never moved away from the table because they knew the stakes were great and it was too risky to leave. Others had come and gone, finding they weren't ready to devote the time and effort involved. The rest looked as if they had just recently joined because the rules were still being explained to them, but there was much eagerness to learn. He had been at the table before. He knew the rules. He wanted to join, but hesitated because not playing meant no loss.

A voice interrupted his thoughts, "Please, come and join." It was the player that had been at the table the longest.

"I'm not sure that I am ready yet," he responded.

"Are any of us really ever ready? Sometimes we just have to look at what is the possible gain verses the risk and jump in believing that we can win. Pull up your chair, I feel that this game is going to be a good one."

Slowly standing, he hesitated only for a while because it felt right and there was something about the main player that made him feel comfortable. It was almost as if there was a knowledge that existed that was accepted, even though he was positive that this person couldn't know anything about him.

He pulled his chair up to the table and the game began. Slowly the dealer put down the first card in front of each player. He picked it up.......10 of diamonds. Not bad, but nothing worth screaming about. Next card was placed in front of him......King of diamonds. This could be good. Three additional cards down in sequence.....Queen of diamonds......Ace of diamonds. There is no way this was happening. One more card placed in front of him.....Jack of diamonds. Royal flush.

"This is not possible," he thought, "the odds of this are 649,739 to 1 and this is the first game that I have played. Why would I deserve to win the pot?"

He looked across the table at the player that had been there and the thought ran through his head that it was not fair to them. He should just fold and nobody would know better, he would be the only one that would be hurt if he just put his cards down and walked away. Not that he didn't want it, but it would be for the best.

"Everything okay?" asked the other player.

"Always." he answered.

"Alright. Let's continue."

The chips began to hit the center of the table as it went around. It was back to him. The stakes had been raised and he didn't know why he felt such a complusion to fold and leave. He had the best hand that was possible, it shouldn't be a stuggle to want win, but what about the other player? Would it be best for them?

"Your call." the player announced

"I am thinking." he countered

Placing the cards on the table facedown, he looked across the table. Nothing was said, he didn't leave the table, he didn't fold. Thinking time was needed and he just knew that the other player was willing to wait for a decision.

Looking at her cards, she stared at the Ace of hearts, the King of heart, the Queen of hearts, the Jack of hearts and the 10 of hearts. The odds of the happening in one hand, improbable. The odds that both of them were holding a hand that was perfect, impossible, or maybe not.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Talk about having me wrapped around your little finger!! I have 5 nieces and 2 nephews that each hold a key to my heart. I melt whenever they are around.

I went over to visit my little brother last night at his home in Lehi. My 1-1/2 year old nephew was there to greet me with smiles when I got there. It is all about kicking the soccor ball (he is incredibly talented) and playing catch with anything that might resemble a ball. Then we played tackle with a lot of laughing due to the fact that after the tackle, of course you have to tickle them, it just can't be helped. I think I provide entertainment for my brother and sister-in-law as I am down on my hands and knees chasing him through the house while having political discussions with my sister-in-law and taking sports with my brother. Then as I leave and there are slobbery kisses and hugs and always a overabundance of waving good bye on the front doorstep. Ah, the good things in life. Uncomplicated.

A few weeks ago I was in attendance at the University of Utah vs. Air Force football game when my phone rang. My 4-year-old niece's voice was there to greet me (this niece lives in St. George). "Are you at the football game?", she asked. I responded that I was. "I can't see you on the tv, where are you? Will you wave to me so I can see you?", she inquired. Oh my heart, how sweet is that?!?! We talked for another few minutes before she decided it was too loud on my end of the phone so she told me she loved me and handed it to my older sister so she could continue to look for me on the television. That's my girl. Way to be watching football on a Saturday afternoon!

It is good to be the favorite aunt!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

I am happy! It has been a while since I could say that. The explaination to why I have finally gotten back to being truly happy is due to the fact that I am being completely honest with myself. That is not an easy thing to accomplish for me. I have run square in the face with insecurities that are very painful, but now that I know that they are there, I can start down the road to fixing them.

I have a deep love for people. I love people from every walks of life. For the most part, I will go out of my way to make sure everyone around me is comfortable and is taken care of. I am quick to love and forgive people. I have a large circle of friends who, I don't doubt, love me, would do anything for me and think very highly of me. I love to do things for people that might make them smile, if only for a moment.

Here is my over share for the day..... I have discovered that I truly don't believe that someone in a dating relationship could like me enough to stick around, so why would I ever believe that anyone could ever love me and want to share eternity with me. I know from where this comes; it is called past experiences. It usually only takes about 30 days of dating before they decide that they just aren't interested anymore. I am so grateful that they remain my friends. There isn't a guy that I have dated that still doesn't count me as a friend. Even the first boyfriend (this was when I was 18, ages ago), who may or may not have slept with my sister's best friend while we were still dating, occationally drops in to see my family to ask how I am doing. He even called me about a year ago to chat and tell me about his new baby. Another ex that I talk to more frequently and who I have asked what is wrong with me, insists that it isn't me. I just have that common factor theory that swirls through my head....the only common factor in every one of my relationships is me.

I am not sure this issue is even something that I can fix since I have no control over anothers agency. I can't make them have interest in me. I can't make them love me, nor would I want to. I want someone to be with me because they love me, they want to be better when they are with me and they just feel better when I am with them. I know that I will feel that way about the person whom I eventually choose. Everyone always tells me that there is nothing wrong with me and that the guys just aren't good enough for me, excuse me when I say bullshit! I wouldn't choose to date anyone that I thought I was too good for them or that they didn't deserve me. Everyone has things to work on, everyone has baggage. If the person I choose to date makes me feel like I need to improve and that both of us are working toward the same major goals, we are equal. My issues/baggage is different, not less.

Cautious? Yes I am. My first kiss was the summer after high school and I have only kissed 6 men total, all of which I was dating at the time the kissing occurred. I didn't even ever play kissing tag in elementary school because I was always "busy" playing the mom by taking care and sheltering the other girls from those kisses they didn't want. I have only told two men that I love them and meant it past friendship or was a family member. One in person in which a wedding date had been set and one in writing that came too late. I don't just throw things out there. If I say it, I mean it. Take it for what it is worth.

Oh what do I know? Maybe I am better off being single. I do know that I would rather be happy and single than with someone who really doesn't love me.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

I have been feeling a bit on the mischievous side recently. The building in which I work has been doing some touch ups, luckily they are just painting and not putting down fresh concrete. There is nothing like a brand new, drying piece of sidewalk that just begs for some imprints. Not that I, sweet innocent me, has ever done such a thing, but I'm just sayin'.

I love to play when I am in this mood. Food, mud, water, grass, whatever can be found usually ends up being fair game to be thrown. I have a tendency to start wrestling matches that there is no conceviable way that I will win. There is an incredible resistance to do anything involved with being responsible. I dance more. I sing more. I laugh more. Bascially I find life is a huge playground. Ah, swinging on the swings!

Monday, October 04, 2004

Slim Fast Anyone?

Strange things happen when you travel into small towns. I took a road trip to Vernal, which is about a 3 1/2 hour drive from Salt Lake City. Population of Vernal: approx. 26,000.

Three of us had taken a road trip there to visit a certain building in an attempt to visit all 11 such buildings that happen to be in the State of Utah. We left on an early Saturday afternoon for our journey. We made it to our destination and spent a few hours at the building. After, our tummies made it perfectly clear that it was time for dinner. We found what looked to be about the only sit down eating establishment in the small town and pulled in. We were seated and brought our drinks. A few minutes later a little old couple (about in their late 60's) were seated directly across the aisle from us. We ordered dinner and continued to chat while we waited. Salads were brought, followed by our dinners. I was noticing that the lady was watching very closely, but I figured she was just upset for the normal reason......loud girls (no denial that I am).

Well we finished dinner and decided that we would like desert. So each of us ordered a desert and proceeded to eat them. After we were done, we went up to pay. I went first and then stepped back to allow the other two to do the same. As I stood waiting, the older couple had finished and came up front to pay their bill. This is when the bomb dropped!!

The lady touched my arm and asked where we were from because we weren't from the area. I told her that we were from Salt Lake and were just on our way back home. Her response was as follows: "Honey, on your way out of town there will be a Smith's grocery store on the left hand side of the road." Not knowing why she was sharing this information with me, I smiled and said "okay". Realizing that I had not gotten the full meaning of her message she continued. "Well, they sell slim fast and you can pick some up before you go. You girls should really look after your figures and not eat so much." At that moment my only reaction was one that she really didn't appreciate, I immediately went into peels of laughter. After I could talk again, I threw my arm around her shoulders and said, "sometimes a girl just really needs her chocolate." She was not amuzed and answered, "well you know that they carry it in chocolate flavor." I completely lost it at this point and was bent over wiping tears from my eyes as I tried to stop laughing long enough to catch a breath. We left after paying and broke into laughter at about one mile down the road as we passed the Smith's.

Sometimes in life things happen that will always put a smile on your face when you think of it.

Friday, October 01, 2004


There are times that I really have to wonder what people are thinking. I have this habit of listening to talk radio while I am at work. Well the other day I almost went through the roof when I was taking care of some paperwork and the hosts said something to the effect of the following: "Why are politicians so concerned with posting on the internet when the age group that they are trying to reach are young (18-35), single adults that are too self adsorbed and don't care about what is going on around them and won't vote anyway."

What? I will agree that our age group doesn't have the best turn out at the polls, but come on that doesn't mean that we are so into ourselves that we don't know what is going on around us in the world. As a matter of fact, most people that I know, who just happen to be in that age group, are very involved. Just because we don't have silver, blue or no hair and look forward all year to election day because it means we get out of the care center for a field day activity (don't get me wrong, I love the grandparents of this world), has nothing to do with not knowing the issues and the candidates.

I vote and I encourage everyone I know to vote. That is the way that our voice is heard and I honestly feel that if you don't vote, you have no right to complain about what happens. Voting is a power that enables us to become a voice in our community, state and in the nation. Knowing the issues and candidates are part of voting with a purpose. Make your voice be heard (do I sound like a commerical yet). There is too much occurring in the world today that we as a nation are involved. Who is making the ulitmate decision on how things are taken care of should be a concern to everyone of us.

There is my soap box for the day. Just sayin'.....


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